The Philosophy of a Naked Savage

The naked savages have taken me into their community. They've washed me, dried me, and fed me prunes. I hate prunes. I spend my time trying to figure out the lifestyle and thoughts of these savages. I watch them closely, examining their ways, their looks, and their bodies... hey... he's kinda hot... Oh... Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. I watch them go through their daily lives, then finally, the answer strikes me. I know how to bestow life upon lifeless matter. No, wait. That was Victor Frankenstein. Oh, I remember now! I know the philosophy of a naked savage.

What is this philosophy, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. The philosophy of a naked savage is a freshly-washed pig. A pig? Why a pig, you say? I can see it all now, in a field of lime green poppies. The naked savage and pig run to each other - in slow motion of course... what scene like this isn't in slow motion - and then they collide... and the pig squeals with delight...

Hey! Where are you taking me? No! You won't take me back! Not the happy place! No!