Almost is not having sex.
Saying yes to "should I go get a condom" is not having sex (especially when he doesn't go upstairs and get a condom).
Giving head is not having sex.
A handjob is not having sex.
Wearing a thong to turn him on is not having sex.
Kissing places that shouldn't be kissed is not having sex.
Sex is having sex.
And we're not having sex.