did i ever tell you
that I'm not good enough?
i'm not the girl
with smiles etched into my face.
i am of tattoos of sadness. Hours and
days I feel like a sheer waste of space.
no.. yes i just made you smile
and you call me a true friend
but its funny how you're never there
when i need you
those days when i fall
in a net trap of bad luck & emptiness
days i try to forget myself
because living as me feels like dying.
days where a gash of blood makes me numb
as i whisper (excuses), "oh i must have hurt myself somewhere"
excuses covering layers of
pain and you don't even
seem to notice
and its times like these
that i would like to make myself disappear forever.