The wind blew hard. An aluminum can rolled across the cemented ground, making the few people around look up from what they were doing to check it out. The clouds darkness increased every few minutes as it neared. I could smell the rain before it hit. Big storm coming. I should go inside. But I wasn't. I was underneath the gazebo. That was protection enough from water. And I didn't feel like going back to chemistry, just to learn about balancing equations, when I could be out here, reading more about Nick and Nora's adventures through New York at night. My dream. To move to New York, and stay out late with some random guy I met that night, but he ends up being my one true love, and the night holds so many secrets we will discover together. Yeah...just a dream. Better than no dream at all, I say. I'd rather wish every night for something big to happen, than realize for one second nothing ever will. Because when that happens, you loose all hope. All innocence. And then what's the point in even trying to be a teenager anymore?
I sit in a secluded corner of the kiosk area, where no one can see me unless they were actually looking. I like it that way. The more secretive, the more I could watch people, when they didn't think anyone was looking. But I was always looking. I watched people. Not in a stalker way, but more of a, studying kind of way. You learn so much about people just by their actions. Especially when they're alone. One time, when a guy was talking, his gum fell out of his mouth and landed on the floor below him. Outside. He walked to the trashcan, as if to throw it away, but just plopped it back in his mouth. I've come to not judge people. As you can tell. I would have freaked out and said that was so gross, but you can't judge a person by what they do. We all have little things people find disgusting.
I hear the thunder rumble through the sky above me. They'll be making an announcement for all students to get back to class, and stay there until they say it's safe enough to walk outside again. Like anyone actually ever died from a little thunder. As if on cue, the announcer comes on.
"We'd please like all students to go back to their classrooms, and for all teachers to keep them there until we come back on to let them go. Thank you." So mannerly. I wonder if she knows most people just tell her to shut up when she comes on. I'd hate to know someone was telling me to shut up when I was speaking. But I guess you get use to it, when you are over forty, and we're all a bunch of students. Like our opinion matters at all in this world.
I gather my things together. I close my book, and place it inside my bag, along with my journal, and pencil. Back to balancing equations. Oh yay. As I stand up, I see a couple walk around the corner of a building. The make out corner. Where all couples go to get away from teachers. It's alittle more secluded than my spot, obviously since that's where students go to get down and dirty. On campus. Eww. I stand there and watch them for a minute more. The way he has his arm around her, slowly inching it's way up her hip, and underneath her shirt, and farther up. His other hand takes it's rightful place on the back of her neck, securing it there. The girl is in total pleasure. She has her hands roaming all up and down his body, looking for a way into it.
I would always tell people I don't like watching this. But really, I do. I almost love it. The passion between these two is undeniable, and I wish for almost the millionth time in my life that I could be that girl. It doesn't matter the guy, I just wish for once I could have a passionate relationship with someone.
The guy smiles, and breaks the kiss. She slips him a piece of paper into his pocket and walks off, as he lightly slaps her butt. As he turns around, I notice it's Trey. The school's most popular boy. Arrogant, charming, sweet-talking, great looks, and the most magnificent body. The whole package. He turns my way and I was sure he wouldn't be able to see me watching him, but he does, and his eyes meet mine, and I'm hooked. Until the warning bell comes on, and I snap out of it. A blush creeps up my neck and to my cheeks. I quickly pull my bag up my arm, and walk towards the math and science building.
That was the worse part. When they catch you watching them. Just like now. Trey probably thinks I like him. Just like all the girls. As if. I could care less about Trey. I hate boys like him. The ones who think they're all that and a bag of chips. The ones who could care less about me. But I'll admit it, I do think Trey is the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. It's hard not to like him. But when I watch him with all the different girls, everyday, new ones and new ones, behind other girl's backs, I understand why I don't. Trey is one big mess I will never get involved with.
"Why do you think Victor ran from his creation? He made this creature. Why did he run from it, and then hate himself afterwards for making it?" Ms.Dupree asked. The students starred back at her, with confusion on their faces. They all expected her to explain, because of course nobody read the book. Except me.
"Because Victor thought his creation would be beautiful, like he imagined. But he was so caught up in creating the creature, that he didn't notice what he had created was what most people would call a monster in society. Even him. He thought it was disgusting, and he didn't give it a chance. He just ran, because he was afraid."
"Exactly, Starlett. Thank you. Now, if you would please get out your books..." I stopped paying attention after that. I had already read the whole book, so I didn't need to read it now. Instead I was going to go to the library. My place to get away.
I opened the doors to the library, and the cold air hit me, refreshing from the humid heat outside. I signed my name in the sign-In sheet and quietly took my place in the back corner. No one ever came back here since it was all just books about building stuff. But it had a nice window view. Something I liked to look at as I day dreamed.
"Hey." I looked up and saw Karly standing above me. I smiled.
"Hey." I replied. Karly was my best friend. Since 7th grade to be exact. We were almost complete opposites, but we still love to be around each other.
"Why are you out of class so early?" Karly asked.
"I was done with the book. I didn't feel like being in a classroom filled with idiots any longer. How about you?"
"Research. Ugh, I hope this weather changes soon. The humid air is doing nothing for my hair."
"You have pin-straight hair. Nothing can be done to it." I laughed, and so did Karly. The librarian rounded the corner, and put her pointer finger to her lips. We mouthed sorry.
"I think Trey thinks I like him." I told her.
"Trey Shelly? Why?" She asked, scooting closer.
"He caught me watching him today. Before fourth. But I wasn't watching him just to watch him, you know? He was with Brittnay today. In the make out corner. I found it disguisting." Karly nodded, but she had that look in her eye. She knew I found Trey cute, but nothing more than that. She also knew I hated men like him, so she never brought him up with me. Or I would give her an earful.
"Trey Shelly, huh? Boy, would I like to be in that corner with him." Karly silently laughed, as I pinned her with my, whatever look.
"Then you'd just be another girl on his list. 200 down, only about 6 billion to go."
"At least I'm on that list. When are you ever going to admit that you want to be on that list also? Every girl does. Trey is irresistible and you know it."
"Yeah, to girls with the a brain the size of a pea. Like you." I laughed, as she lightly punched me in the arm.
"Hey! I just know what I like, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Unlike you."
"I know what I like. And it's not some guy who's slept with almost every girl in this school. Unlike you." She laughed, as I heard the bell ring. End of school. Finally.
"I have tutoring for geometry, so I can't walk with you. But call me tonight, and we'll discuss more of Trey." She smiled, and ran out the door. Yeah, sure. How about no. That just kept me from calling someone today.
It had begun to rain. Great. Exactly what I needed. In times like this I wish I had a car. So I wouldn't get drenched with water, polluted water at that. But at other times, I really enjoyed walking in the rain. Even if to people passing by saw it as something a little odd. I didn't mind. I had always been the odd girl. First it was because I was a little bigger than the other girls. Then it was because I was taller. Then because I read to much. The list went on forever. Kids were aways making up new ways of comparing me with everyone else, and discovering how much different I actually was. But high school wasn't that bad to be truthful. The school was way to big for the whole student population to focus on one girl. I was a sophomore. To everyone passing by, I was invisible. And I liked it like that.
The annul school play. Something everyone in school looks forward too. Including me. I opened the big, double, black doors, and my eyes had to adjust to the loss of light in the room. It was what it looked like. The room was big, square, and black as night on the inside. It had lights, but they didn't help much. In the 1950's, when the school was built, they didn't have money for an auditorium, so whenever they had plays, it was inside here. I loved this room. It wasn't like other rooms at all. It had it's own little thing going on.
I could see I was the first person to arrive for the auditions, so I quietly took my place in the corner of the room. Ms.Denis looked up from her computer and smiled. Robotic-ally, I smiled back. My straight face smile I give all teachers. But I actually liked Ms.Denis for some strange reason. She was the thirty year old teacher, with the bohemian style, not married, and worked part time at theaters. And she didn't follow to many school rules either. We could listen to our iPods, or play with our cellphones in class.
"Starlett, if you don't mind, would you please go and get the small fold-out table?" Ms.Denis asked. I nodded.
"Now, where would a fold-out table be," I quietly asked myself, as I looked around the stage. Platforms sat idle in the middle of the stage, along with chairs and tables, and a few props from the last small play our class did. I walked across the stage, slowly, sliding my hand along the tops of the chairs as I went by. Sometimes, I wish my life was just like a play. Rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal, and then finally, everyone comes to see me on my big day, and on that big day, I do everything right, because I practiced it before. Oh, well.
"Mmm..ooohh.." I hear, faintly. What was that? I hear the noises again. Voices? Who would be back here at this hour? And talking to themselves at that matter. I tiptoe to the curtain and peek around it. Nothing. But I swore I heard voices. It's darker back here. With the curtain's drawn, and the lights off, you can barely see anything. The perfect spot for someone to be alone. I stand there a second more and when I don't hear the noises again, I shrug my shoulders. Guess it was nothing. But I remember the table Ms.Denis wanted was backstage, so I hurriedly rounded the corner, only to come face to face with Trey Shelly and Brittany.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I shriek, as I quickly turn around. I knew I heard something, but that? Well, it was Trey for goodness sake. It could be anywhere. I hear laughter behind me, and I can feel the blush creeping up. I'm so thankful it's dark back here. I can feel the embarrassment flowing through my veins, and I want to slap myself. I can't believe I just walked in on Trey and Brittnay practically having sex. Now, that makes me uncomfortable.
"It's okay, I was just leaving." Brittnay says. I nod, and then remember she can't see me.
"No, it's okay, you don't have to. I just needed to get that table, over there," I point behind me,"you can stay." But I know they're not listening. And you can hear in my voice how nervous I am right now. It's so high and fast.
"Bye. I'll call you tonight." she says, and I hear the smacking from kissing, and I mentally cringe. I'm listening to Trey Shelly make out. My worst nightmare.
"Erm, bye, Scarlett."
"Starlett." But she doesn't hear. She's already halfway down the ramp. I stand there for another minute or so, mentally slapping myself. I guess a minute to long, because I hear Trey give alittle cough. Slowly, I turn around. Wow, even in the dark, you can see those bright blue eyes.
"Spying?" He asks. Did he say something? I swore I saw his lips move. But those eyes. Starlett! Snap out of this. It's Trey Shelly! I shake my head.
"What?" I ask, and I hear this hint of irritation in my voice.
"Spying. Were you?"
"On you? I have better ways to spend my time." I reply, with a bite.
"Then what were you doing back here?" He askes, and I see him take a step closer.
"I needed to get...the table for Ms.Denis! Yes. And you were here. In my way. So, yeah." I can barely see his lips curve up in a smirk, but it's there. It's always there.
"A table, huh? Are you sure about that?" Am I sure? What else would I be back here for? As I thought this through, I noticed he wasn't a few feet away anymore. He was less than a couple. Oh. Oh!
"Trey, you are the last thing I would want to be back here with. So, if you could please move out of my way..." And I need not ask again, because Trey obediently moves out of the way to let me pass. I stand there confused. Did Trey just do something I asked? Without asking something from me?
"Thank you." I say, and I walk past him. But as I turn to look at him, he catches my eye. And he just stares at me, as I pass, without looking away, until I turn to look ahead of me. That look in his eyes. I don't get it very often, but when I do, I know what it means. But I know Trey saves that look for every girl. And yet, it doesn't stop me from having to repeat it to myself over and over again.