anorexia nervosa- a psychological disorder
characterized by somatic delusions that you
are too fat despite being emaciated.
that's how the dictionary defines anorexia of the
body but i have anorexia nervosa of the heart.
the mirror tells me that i'm fat (ugly to
the world). the mirror tells me i'm not good
enough to be loved. the mirror is my source
of food because real food can't go down.
real food is simply goodness, nutrition, sustenance:
the thing making me healthy inside.
honesty; the honesty i can't believe.
the mirror is a dictator; my life is out of my
control. the mirror is my infatuation; every-
thing else has lost my interest at this point.
anorexia does this to people.
it's a perception that's not real but yet that perception
is all that the person can see; it's the birth of an obsession
with a fantasy that doesn't exist and a reality that is
better than the dream they're living.
but the mirror, the mirror, the mirror…
reflections have flaws in them, too.