"Ugh.. Yes.. Jesus..." God moaned loudly, but awakened from his wet dream. Shit, his bed was so damn wet with nightly semen. He sighed, and ran his hand through his long blonde and queer hair. It framed his face perfectly. "I miss Jesus..."

His voice trailed off, and then he broke into song;

"I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,

Yo, this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya know ya got to have one good boy whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day he cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my boyy wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for him I was
Feelin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my boy left me, my whole left life came crashin"

He realized he was stroking his penis, rubbing faster and faster. "JESUS!" He screamed, and came out all over his hand. "Bloody hell. I need to get laid."

God had been so different since his son left him. Jesus told him the day he got up to walk out of Heaven's gates that he was going away for a while. He was leaving for a boy named Matthew...


"MATTHEW. SCREAM MY NAME, BITCH." Jesus moaned out as Matthew stroked his cock with such force that Jesus was shaking. "FU-FU-FUCK ME! I'M ABOUT TO CUM!" He hollered, and Matthew took in all of Jesus's hard cock and sucked. Finally, Jesus' hot semen poured into his throat, and he swallowed it. Fuck Jeffree Star; no one can swallow more cum than Matthew.

Jesus quicky redressed, and motioned for Matthew to follow him. "We have to go meet up with umm.. Peter."

"You mean Simon."

"Shut the fuck up."

Matthew shrugged, and tugged at his toga. " 'Kay Jesus, baby."

Together they walked silently through the night. They were in the bahamas, since they weren't allowed to be anywhere else; especially the Middle East. Those fucking Muslims would blow him up if he even dared to step foot on their Muslim-land.

"Jesusssssssss..." Matthew whined, "I want to fuck you."

Jesus rolled his eyes and moved his long, brown, and feminine hair out of his face. "Maybe later... Oh, look! Peter!"

"It's Simon."

"Shut the fuck up."

"...But my name is Simon."

"Shut the fuck up! You're PETER."

'Peter' shrugged, "Anyway, Jesus, got the goods..?"

"Yeah bitch, I got the cocaine right here."

"Give it to me, Jesus."

"Give me the money first.."

Peter sighed, and reached into his fanny-pack. "Here you go, all twenty five dollars. You're so damn pricey. My god."

Jesus sighed, and handed over the coke, taking the money. And then next thing he be knowing, Peter and Matthew were all up on his cock. "FUCK ME BITCHES!"

They fucked for five minutes, and then they all came. People were watching but they didn't care. They were getting sexually pleased.


"Mary.. ugh..." God whined, as the Virgin Mary had her way with him. "Hot damn girl, you're on fire."

A sly smirk went across Mary's face, as she ran he tongue down God's torso. "I guess that's what some cocaine and alcohol can do.."

She trailed off and ran her tongue down to his cock, licking the head. God screamed out in pleasure, and rubbed Mary's C size titties. "How the fuck are you a virgin, bitch?" He reached down to her vajayjay and touched her in her hot spot. He took some of her female cum and rubbed it on her butt cheeks. Then, with one swift movement, he got on top of her while she was face down in the ass. He fucked her deep, sticking it in her ass. "I don't typically go for girls.. so I have to do it in the ass, sorry to say."

"Your dick has sinned so much it should be crucified…like Jesus Christ." Mary moaned, but stopped when God pulled out and started getting dressed again, a still obvious erection on him. "Did I do something...?"

"Just go Mary." God said quietly, pointing a finger to the door.

When she left, he burst into tears. He missed Jesus. He missed fucking him so much.


"Get the fuck over there!" A masked gunman shouted, ushering Jesus towards a wall.

"Fuck off!"

"No. You owe me so much money Jesus. That coke isn't cheap. Give it up."

"I don't have it."

"Shut the fuck up! I just saw you getting paid!"

The gun pushed tighter into Jesus' temple, and he quivered. "Please... no.."


Jesus collapsed onto the cold ground, bleeding out of his head. The drug dealer smirked, and walked away.

And there Jesus went... going back to Heaven's gates...

[ Thy Holy Ereckshun was only a prologue