A Little Dead Inside

Words that tear holes in me,
Killing me from the inside out.
The external portion is all you'll ever notice.
Falling to pieces on the wooden floor,
Tears mixing with the dust,
Heartbeats mixing with the screaming.
Make it stop.

Burns through me,
Like so many times before.
A war waged by two people, confused.
Actions don't measure,
Don't go, where your words do.
Caught up in the drama,
Unable to forget your promise.
I don't understand.

Happiness sears through me at the simplest notion,
Next I remember the pain.
And how much of it you hold against me.
And how much I have to hide from you.
Yet I still need your presence next to mine.
Joy and misery don't unite well as one.
Lingering on cold taste buds,
A bad flavor left from years ago.
It won't leave.

An hour of seemingly endless tears,
Staining brown eyes red.
Medication slips down throats
Torn open.
I hardly notice anyway.
The familiar feeling of inhaling lies.
You don't see what you're doing to me.
A little more dead inside,
But every time,
I survive.