Part 1
Sometimes life takes you down a path you never expected. A horrible event may lead you to true happiness, or the best day of your life may lead to your devastation. I learned this lesson in life one of the hardest ways possible. I learned to trust fate to lead me where I needed to go.
I was always the kind of girl that didn't believe in fate, destiny, or any of that other nonsense. Life went where I took it and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd just graduated from NYU with a degree in communications and a minor in meteorology. The day after graduation, I moved back to my hometown just outside of the city and settled into my childhood room. Everything was exactly the way I'd planned. Save up some money by not paying rent and get a job to start getting my life on track.
I wanted to be a weather girl…that's right. I wanted to be that girl on the local news channel that everyone loved to hate because the predictions were never exactly right. It was a weird dream, but it was my plan ever since I was four years old. The first local channel I interviewed for offered me the job after talking to me for no more than five minutes. My life was picture perfect and exactly how I'd planned. I'd gotten to where I wanted to be with no real complications to speak of.
It was on that day that I got offered the job that my life changed. I'd never experienced death before and it was cruel that the first person to ever be taken away from me had to be my mother…my best friend. I can barely remember that day…or the weeks that followed. The deep pain I felt was never ending and my home went from being a place filled with love and warmth to the one placed I despised being most in the world. My father shut himself off from me and my older brother, who had returned home from California until things calmed down.
I quit my job the day after I got it. My brother pleaded with me to reconsider my rash decision. "Kris, do not let this change your life." He pleaded softly to me. But my life had already changed and for once there was nothing I could do about it, I wasn't in control anymore. I couldn't imagine being passionate about anything anymore. I could barely find enough energy to get out of bed in the morning, let alone be the peppy weather girl. Everything in my house reminded me of my mother and I couldn't go an hour without crying. I was absolutely broken…this wasn't in my plan.
The day my mother died, a little piece of me died as well. But a larger piece of my father died. It pained me to be around the man that used to be so full of love and joy. He was now completely empty, more so than I was. I still had a glimmer of hope in me that I could find my lost pieces and somehow fit them back together. But I wasn't going to do that in New York…or anywhere close to New York.
My brother went back to California two weeks after that disastrous day in our lives. The day after that I started packing up my belongings. My friends thought I was crazy, but nothing ever felt more right to me. Nothing in my life made sense anymore, so why did my actions have to make sense? If I wanted to leave, I could leave. For the first time I wasn't going to follow what my head told me to do…I was going to listen to what felt right.
My room looked foreign to me. My off-white walls were bare and brown boxes with scribbled labels covered my beautiful navy blue carpet. A single tear escaped my eye as I sat down in front of my laptop to quickly check my e-mail, which I hadn't done in weeks. 63 new messages. Mindlessly, I made my way through my inbox, deleting anything that didn't seem urgent. I finally found one that looked like it had some importance.
Kriszta-
How have you been? We miss you here at NYU. I'm sending this e-mail to you because I have an amazing opportunity that any Comm. major would die for. Now I know you probably already have a job with the best news channel possible, but I would really love for you to consider this. There is a band that is going on tour and came to me looking for a Tour Manager/Personal Assistant. They usually have this taken care of, but they are going to be a little short handed this tour because of a family emergency and need the best of the best to help them out. You immediately came to mind. So I am offering this to you before I offer it to anyone else. But I need to hear back from you ASAP. You can be a weather girl for the rest of your life, but this really is a chance of a lifetime and I've always told you that you had a knack for something more like this. Please give it some thought and call me as soon as you get this so we can talk about it a bit more.
Sincerely,
Professor Tracy Greene
914-645-5555
The message was sent over a week ago. My heart started pounding in my chest. What if she'd already given the job away? Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my cell phone and calling Tracy.
"Tracy? It's Krizsta." I spoke quickly as if to make up for calling her back so late.
"Oh Kriszta! I was getting worried that you weren't going to call me back."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't check my email for weeks. I don't know what I was thinking. Is it too late? Did you already give it away?" I spoke in a rush. I wasn't thinking and it felt completely right. My heart was the one doing the talking as it kept pounding away in my chest.
"I was about to send out a mass email to the department, so you called just in time. Well what do you think? I know it's not the field you wanted--"
I cut her off. "Yes. I want it, it sounds like a great learning experience. When do I leave?"
"Kriszta," she spoke softly and seriously, "I need you to understand that you're going to be leaving your family for a long time." She knew the strong bond that I had with my family…but everything was different now.
"I know." That's the point. "That's fine. When do I leave?"
"A little less than a week." She paused for a second and I heard someone speaking to her. "Kriszta can I call you back in a few minutes? I have something I need to take care of." She sounded distracted.
"Sure thing, bye." I closed my cell phone and stared at the blank wall in front of me. That was the first time that I allowed something impulsive to happen in my life. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to react, should I feel happy? But the thought of having some place to go with all of the boxes that I had just packed excited me.
Tracy called me back a few minutes later and explained to me in detail everything that I would be doing. I only half listened as my brain started taking over my thought process. My head was making me second-guess everything I was doing. Was this right, what if I was making a huge mistake? I had no experience in this field. Then I thought about my father…I was leaving him. No, he would understand that I needed to do this. If there was one thing my father was good at, it was understanding his children. When I hung up the phone, I realized that I never even asked Tracy the name of the band that I was going on tour with.
May 7th, 2004.
That day will stick in my head for the rest of my life. That's the day that I let fate take over. The morning of the 7th, exactly three weeks after my mother's death, I went into the living room where my father was sitting. He was reading a book, the same that he had been reading since she died. He looked up at me and stood up slowly, almost as if it pained him to move.
"Be safe." He whispered as he pulled me into a hug that almost reminded me of a hug he would give me before my mother died.
"I will." I turned away from him and gathered all my things and left.
I blinked and pulled myself back into reality. I stood outside a huge apartment complex in New York City with three suitcases full of clothing and other essential items. I decided boxes weren't the best way to travel so I repacked everything into three rather large suitcases. I pressed the buzzer for Apartment 169. "Um…Hi. This is Kriszta Balla." I wasn't sure what else to say so I took my finger off of the buzzer and stood there in silence. Suddenly the speaker had a voice coming out of it.
"Hey! Sorry we'll be down in one second." A male voice said. I sighed and then turned around. My eyes took on the ritzy scenery that surrounded me. Beautiful apartment complexes were sitting on top of high-class restaurants. It was times like these when I had nothing else to distract me that thoughts about my mother flooded my head. Fresh tears almost sprung into my eyes, but I tried my best to hold them back. I didn't take this job to wallow in my sorrows. This band didn't need my emotional baggage, that wasn't what I was hired for.
I gulped down a breath of air when I heard the door open and commotion follow. Three boys emerged from the door with their arms full of bags and guitars. The first one that came out was a handsome guy with a dirty blonde faux hawk. A frazzled, tall skinny boy with longer light brown hair followed the one with the faux hawk. Finally, the third emerged and he was the huskiest of the three. He had a dirty blonde mop sitting on top of his head. The resemblance between the three of them was unmistakable. I put on a large smile, tried to stop analyzing their looks, and made my way toward them.
"Let me help you with your things." I offered as I reached out to grab anything I could from them. They all shook their heads and laughed.
"That's totally unnecessary." The one with a faux hawk said. They all began placing their stuff down on the ground. I stood there feeling more uncomfortable than I ever had before in my life. "So you must be Kriszta, we really appreciate you being able to do this on such short notice." I nodded and smiled. "I'm Austin by the way." He stuck out his hand and I shook it with that large smile still stuck on my face. My eyes drifted toward the tall brunette and I almost choked on the breath of air that I had just taken in. He was absolutely gorgeous, how had I not noticed that two seconds before?
"I'm Luke, it's really nice to meet you." He reached his hand out to mine and I hesitated a minute before grabbing it and shaking it.
"Nice to meet you too." I said meekly before another hand was reaching out for mine.
"I'm Cody." The last boy said and I shook his hand.
"It's really good to meet all of you." I said in a very professional and perky voice. They all smiled politely. I felt that they were all a bit apprehensive. Maybe they weren't used to having someone they didn't know on tour with them. "Tracy didn't actually tell me what band you guys were in, which is pretty ridiculous because I've been talking to her almost nonstop since the minute I accepted this and I feel pretty stupid not knowing and I probably should know…" They all had genuine smiles on their face at this point. The boy whose name might have been Cody even let out a small laugh.
"We're Emery…you know that song Michigan from like 10 years ago?" Luke offered with a beautiful smile. I felt my cheeks turn bright red. Emery. I was going on tour with Emery; the band that my best friend in middle school was a little bit more than obsessed with. How could I have not recognized them? She used to have their faces plastered all over her walls. How could Tracy have forgotten to mention that the band was actually famous and would expect a lot out of me? For some reason, when she mentioned going on tour, I figured it would be some up and coming small band that was doing a small tour with whoever would book them.
"I feel so stupid." I mumbled. They looked so different from when they first became famous. They all looked so old, but I guess a few years would do that to you. All three of them laughed and began grabbing their things, so I followed suit and filled my arms with my luggage.
"Why don't we show you where you're going to be living?" Austin suggested. I nodded and followed them uncomfortably around their building and into a parking lot where two huge buses were sitting. There was a bunch of people surrounding one of the buses and packing equipment into the bottom area. Everything was so overwhelming. "We thought it would be easier for you to be on our bus so you'll be able to access us more easily." Austin spoke again. I nodded and kept following them as we got closer and closer to the buses. "Don't worry though, our sister is going to join us in a few weeks so you wont be the only girl among us guys." He looked back and smiled at me. I nodded again and kept walking.
I had so much running through my head that I could barely form words. I caught Luke looking over his shoulder at me for a brief second, as if he were checking to see if I was doing okay. We got to the bus and Cody punched in a code and the door unlocked. They all went on the bus, dragging their tons of luggage in with them. I stopped dead in my tracks.
I stood staring blankly at the open door. What in the world was I doing? How did I end up here? My mothers face filled my thoughts and I tried to shake her out of my mind. I was doing this to be okay. I needed to be okay. A shaky breath filled my lungs as I urged myself to get on the bus. But I my feet weren't moving. I wasn't just getting on any bus…if I got on there was no turning back. Running back home to my father wasn't going to be an option anymore.
"You coming?" Luke asked gently as his head popped out from behind a curtain. I could tell by the sympathy in his eyes that he already somehow knew that there was something I was hiding. I apparently needed to keep better control of my emotions and actions. I nodded nonchalantly and then smiled.
"Of course. I'm just trying to take all this in. I've never done anything like this before." I spoke softly staring into his eyes. He frowned.
"Just take it all in one step at a time. I know it can be a lot." I nodded and took his suggestion very literally. One step at a time. Finally, I felt my feet leave the ground and carry me into the bus. I took a moment to close my eyes and silently I wished my old life goodbye.
--
I am in the process of fixing this story up. I went through and fixed typos and added some more detail. I am much happier with this first chapter than I was with the original one. I hope you enjoyed it.