"Wish He Was Mine"
There he was. The guy of my dreams. Sometimes I think he knows that. And now he's looking my way, and he's smiling. He's walking over. Deep breaths now. I see him every single day, but I still can't get over the way the side of his mouth creases as he smiles at me. Sometimes I just imagine that I'm the only one he'll smile at. He's standing by my locker now and he's opening his mouth to say something, "Hey, Gaby."
I better say something fast – before he thinks I'm a complete mute, a complete dufus. "Hey."
"Could you do that biology question that Mr. Leeville set yesterday?" he asked. He fumbled slightly with his folder to pull out the sheet of paper. I admired the way his forehead creased when he did that. He was so damn cute. "I looked at it for hours, you know – but I just couldn't get it?"
"Yeah, I got it," I said. I pulled out my biology homework and showed it to him. I'd let him copy my homework any day of the week. It was his to see.
"Oh my God, Gaby, you're a genius!" he exclaimed as he looked at my answer. He hugged me with his free arm. "I love you!"
I almost sighed. Sometimes I wish it was said literally.
"Guess what happened yesterday, Gaby."
"I got her reply, she said 'yes' – I can't believe it, I'm so happy about it," he said. A huge grin was plastered to his face. This time my heart sank as he pulled at his mobile phone from his pocket. He showed me the sms:
My heart sank further. I forced a smile on my face. Her; that girl he'd been talking 24:7. Olivia. She was everything I wasn't. She had beautiful golden ringlets that fell onto her shoulders. She had a smile that could rival the sun in brightness. Plus, she beat me on all our class tests. Face it, she was perfect. I could not compete with her. Before this at least I had him close to me, but now? Who'd know? He might end up hanging out with her. He might end up forgetting about me. I'll be nothing. Not even 'Gaby'. Sometimes I'd dream that he'd drop the 'G' and add in a 'B'. But all these dreams had gone out the window with that one word and that one smiley face.
"I'm happy for you," I lied – as best I could.
His grin grew wider. "Oh my God, Gaby, I think I'm in love," he laughed.
I faked a small smile. That was the best I could do. Inside, I could feel my heart floating away from me, swelling up – God, I couldn't take this. "Um, hurry up, otherwise we'll be late for class," I pointed out.
"Oh yeah," he agreed.
I made my way to class first. On the way I adjusted my earplugs and turned up the volume. Silently a tear fell from my right eye. I just hoped no one noticed.
It was at lunch when I saw her. Olivia. We didn't have any morning periods with her. But still, he couldn't stop talking about her. It was scary. I felt like I was losing him. Why couldn't he see that the perfect girl for him was just right in front of his eyes? Why? He smiled over at her, and she smiled back – and I noticed the way he smiled at her was different from the way he smiles at me. It was love. He looked at her with love. He never looked at me with love. I thought it was love. But I was just kidding myself.
"Gaby, you want the fries or the salad?" he asked me.
I stared at them. I wanted neither. I wanted him. But could I say that? "Fries," I told him.
He laughed and handed me over the fries. He took some for himself. "If you eat anymore junk food you'll get fat," he joked. I knew it was a joke. But that just made my heart want to break. Is that why he didn't love me? Because he thought I was fat?
"Then I'll take the salad then," I said suddenly, coldly. I didn't know where that came from. He stared at me, confused. Did I mention that he looked cute confused? My heart skipped a beat. Quickly! Solve this mess you just made. "I'm joking!"
His face broke, and there he was laughing. "You scared me, Gaby," he remarked. "For a second I thought you were one of those anorexic straw-eaters."
I forced a laugh. "Yeah, like that'd happen."
He touched my shoulder in acknowledgement, then walked onwards to the cashier to pay for his food. As he walked away, I looked at my shoulder and gave a short sigh. Then I walked over to the cashier to pay for my food. Sometimes I wish he just kept his hand there a while longer. Just enough time for me to reach my hand over for his …
"Gaby! Over here!" he shouted from across the canteen.
I grimaced and walked over to where he was, my tray resting on my forearms. I sat down next to him, trying to smile beautifully. I wish he could just notice that – the effort I was making. I wish he could just compliment me for it.
"We got a good seat – she's just sitting over there," he whispered over at me. "She's so beautiful! The sun is radiating from her skin!"
"Radiating?" I asked sarcastically.
"Well, she's just glowing," he sighed. "And I'll get to be with her this weekend."
I kept silent.
"What do you think we should do together?" he asked. "You're a girl. Give me pointers."
Wow. Did he just say that I was a girl? Did he just notice?
"Anything, I'm sure you can think up something sweet," I told him.
"Any suggestions though?"
Yeah … I wish he wasn't going out with her. I wish he would go out with me – and not as a friend. I wanted to be so much more than that. "What does she love?" I asked.
Wrong question, here he goes …
"Animals, and children, and music, and art," he listed. Ain't she a cupcake.
"I don't know – go to the zoo," I joked.
"That's a great idea! The zoo!" he replied.
I was just joking.
Monday. I walked over to my locker that morning just dreading the results of his date. He probably won her over with his eyes, his charm, his smile … I spent the entire weekend contemplating over it. Maybe she hated it. Maybe she hated going to the zoo. Maybe she hates him and was just keeping him amused by saying 'sure )'. But somewhere deep down inside me I knew that there was a slim chance of that. No one should be able to pass him up! He was perfect! He was hot …
And there he was, walking down the corridor, and smiling at me. Here comes the report. I took a deep breath and smiled back at him. I hoped he noticed that I did my hair for him, I did my make up for him, and I dressed well for him. Maybe he'll come over to me and say that the date was a flop, that he should have gone out with me, that I was the girl he really wanted to be with. Because, hell, we'd be perfect together. Why couldn't he see that?
Here he comes …
No. What? He walked right by me. He just missed my glance. I turned around swiftly to see him smiling at her. Olivia. Golden haired, bright smile Olivia. And there he was, running his fingers along her hair, tugging at one ringlet sweetly, touching her chin softly and leaning in …
My stomach dropped, my heart caved in. I could only stare as they locked lips. His eyes stared lovingly at hers. His eyes. Love. They were in love. Those eyes that I wish would stare at me in the exact same way. All those nights I spent imagining him leaning in and planting a kiss on my lips. They were on hers. Hers. Olivia.
And here I stand, against my locker. He isn't standing here next to me, making me crack up at his stupid jokes. He isn't mine for the taking. He was Olivia's. He was over at the other side of the hallway. He was holding her in his arms. He was holding hands with her. His warmth was encompassing her – not me. And I adjusted my earplugs, and I turned up the volume, and I cried buckets of tears. I just hoped no one saw.
A/N:A one-shot inspired by the song and music video 'Teardrops on my Guitar' by Taylor Swift. I managed to write this in 'one shot'. Lol. Lame. Please, please, review and tell me what you think about it.