i watch you sitting all by yourself just a few yards away, and yet, you seem so far away
you, on the cold pavement, and where am i, on a ripped old bar stool
and i see you glance up towards the sky – what do you see up there, i wonder, it's just blackness, the stars, always so unreachable, the moon, why, it's just a glowing circle, sometimes not even a circle at all, and sometimes, it disappears altogether, hiding behind a cloud or the night sky darkness.
and tonight i watch you again, incline your head upwards, taking it all in, i watch your body still, i see your eyes become mesmerized, and i glance up too, and gaze for what seems, the longest eternity, and what do i see – oh, yes, the thousand points of light, the tilted crescent, hovering against the blackness, tainted with a sulfur hue
i want to tell you there is nothing up there to help you, you're just wasting your time, and yet, - i see you, on the cold pavement, and where am i, on a ripped old bar stool...
i'll sniff the air around me – the dirty atmosphere, gagging me, threatening my insides to heave – everything's tainted with heavy alcohol, stale vomit, cheap perfume – old leather, fresh mint. i stare at the scene in front of me, behind me, next to me, surrounding me – sweat slicked bodies, crowded together, and i tremble cause of the thousand vibrations hitting the stained floor, and i have to scream to be heard cause the music is just too damn loud, but it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter cause i have nothing to say, anyways. flashing lights, reflecting off the half empty glasses and the rotating ball above, and i close my eyes, and watch the pretty colors burst into life.
and tonight i watch you again, incline your head upwards, taking it all in, i watch your body still, i see your eyes become mesmerized, and i wonder what do you see up there...my lips tremble, i feel them open to form a small 'o', and it all comes out, it all comes out – i gasp, i scream, i gag, and i'm suddenly blinded by a wave of sodium-filled teardrops in my eyes – i stumble away, and a few moments later i find myself sprawled on the cold pavement, and i'm gazing upwards toward the sky, and realize that whatever you see, it's better, than what i see.