Random Funny Moments

Provided by my beloved boyfriend, Jesse

Heaven for a Heathen:

Background: Jesse has this agnostic friend named Ryan, and one day they were playing Xbox Live together, and this conversation came up.

Ryan: What is Heaven like? I mean... what do you believe it is like?
Jesse: Well, *dramatic pause* It's this big room. It's a white room. And in this room there is a working Nintendo 64. There are only 3 controllers *Ryan laughs* and Golden Eye 64 is the only game. *Ryan laughs again*
Ryan: Yeah... Dude that game WAS made by God!! Haha!
Jesse: And everyone that died a believer gets to take a turn playing Golden Eye. God is always first player. He's got a special controller and everything. But whenever you play against him he won't cream you, but he'll give you just enough of a challenge that you'll leave satisfied after beating Him. Hehe... but sometimes Jesus will take a turn. That's when everyone gets off because NOBODY wants to play against Jesus Christ. *Ryan laughs even louder than the previous 2 times*
Jesse: Jesus really doesn't like to go easy on anyone... He usually just mops the floor with your face and hangs you up to dry.
Ryan: Haha... "Crucify me, Will you!!!"
Jesse: Now Im just paraphrasing Revelations here. This isnt exact science. I could be wrong.

Poetically Correct

Background: Apparently, Jesse speaks poetically on Xbox LIVE and one time he sacked Nathan and he said:

Nathan: Dude, now I can't have kids.

Jesse: Oh, woe unto the nations for you hath not a lineage to bear for them. 'Tis my fault your ancestral line has come to a halt. Forgive me, my brother.