Random Funny Moments
Provided by my beloved boyfriend, Jesse
Heaven for a Heathen:
Background: Jesse has this agnostic friend named Ryan, and one day they were playing Xbox Live together, and this conversation came up.
Ryan:
What is Heaven like? I mean... what do you believe it is like?
Jesse:
Well, *dramatic pause* It's this big room. It's a white room. And in
this room there is a working Nintendo 64. There are only 3
controllers *Ryan laughs* and Golden Eye 64 is the only game. *Ryan
laughs again*
Ryan:
Yeah... Dude that game WAS made by God!! Haha!
Jesse:
And everyone that died a believer gets to take a turn playing Golden
Eye. God is always first player. He's got a special controller and
everything. But whenever you play against him he won't cream you, but
he'll give you just enough of a challenge that you'll leave satisfied
after beating Him. Hehe... but sometimes Jesus will take a turn.
That's when everyone gets off because NOBODY wants to play against
Jesus Christ. *Ryan laughs even louder than the previous 2
times*
Jesse:
Jesus really doesn't like to go easy on anyone... He usually just
mops the floor with your face and hangs you up to dry.
Ryan:
Haha... "Crucify me, Will you!!!"
Jesse:
Now Im just paraphrasing Revelations here. This isnt exact science. I
could be wrong.
Background: Apparently, Jesse speaks poetically on Xbox LIVE and one time he sacked Nathan and he said:
Nathan: Dude, now I can't have kids.
Jesse: Oh, woe unto the nations for you hath not a lineage to bear for them. 'Tis my fault your ancestral line has come to a halt. Forgive me, my brother.