some days i feel like i'm a ghost. drifting, watching.
you are something wild, the feral glint of your teeth in the midst of a grin,
and i am the catch of a song on the wind, me and the earth
singing do re mi fa mi.
i see you laugh, grin and something barrierlike and sharp in me cracks, crumbles away.
you are the cure to my disease, but you break me in a new way each time
i breathe in your scent, your laugh.
my father is screaming hatred at me and i shut the door to block the hurt seeping from my words.
my voice cracks when i whisper to my walls how i wish you would love me in return.
i try to stay above the misery. but it keeps finding ways to get me,
like a bad dream that returns each night.
like a stain that's set in.
i suffer every day for not being what i could have been.
crumpled leaves and wasted dreams littering the pale
sidewalks. utopias i crush beneath the uncaring sole of my shoes.
tired sighs and the rusted chains that bind.
a papercut along my lifeline and i wish we
could stay here forever, just two runners out of the race, remaining stuck,
stationary as everyone passes us. i don't want you to leave me, ever.
please don't leave me.
your eyes are uncertain but you can't stop dreaming.
and my shoulders shudder, crack under the weight of the world
with my gaze steadily locked in yours.
"sometimes, i feel like i'm alone. and it's like a nightmare, and i can't ever..."
but i can feel you, i can feel you.
breathing next to me. warmth and i wish i could close that distance.
you're oceans away but sleeping right next to me.
something like an illusion...
and the one that was untamed.
"and i can't...ever wake up."