Love. Everyone thinks it's this great thing that should be celebrated and showered throughout the world. They think love is something that makes you smile and sing every day. Something that lifts your spirits and makes you 'walk on air'. Songs are written about love, most of the time praising it. People want to be in love just to say that they know what love feels like and that they had the opportunity to fall in love. No one tells you the dark side of falling in love, or that love can end just as abruptly as it started. No one tells you that love makes you cry just as much as it makes you laugh. No one tells you that Love makes you crazy and makes you doubt everything you ever knew.
When you find that perfect guy or perfect girl, the one that you're convinced you're in love with your whole life changes. Gone is the confident person you once were and in replace of that you become self conscious and paranoid. You want the best for this guy or girl, but you don't want that to exclude you. You want them to be able to have a life aside from you, but you want them to call to know that they are still thinking of you. You cry yourself to sleep at least once a week wondering if the next day the love of your life realizes that you aren't the person he or she wants and goes to search for someone better suited for them, even though this love has told you over and over again that you are the only one for them.
This perfect guy or girl tells you about their past…yes they cheated but they didn't like the person and the person didn't like them. He or she didn't do it again, only that once, but then you wonder, will they do it to you? Is the old saying 'once a cheater, always a cheater' really true, or just something made up? Then you wonder when he or she doesn't call if they are with some other guy or girl, just laughing at your obliviousness. They tell you to trust them, to love them enough to know that they wouldn't do that to you, But if they did it once, what makes them not do it again? What power do you have that their ex didn't that would make them not cheat?
You don't want to be that boyfriend or girlfriend who needs to know where your other half is every single moment of every single day but you find yourself starting to be like that. You wait like a hawk for their phone calls and when they don't call, you get mad at them and sad at the same time. When they don't call you wonder if they're out doing something better, something they like more. You start picking fights with them because of your insecurities and soon you realize you aren't who you want to be but you don't know how to change. They go on vacation for their spring break and you get mad that they invited their friend and not you, not that you could even go since you have school. You wonder sometimes why they don't show how much they love you even though they claim they do. You have no problem showing it, why should they?
You wonder, just for a second, if they're using you to help them do things, or worse, for sex. Love is so deep in you that you wonder how they can go a day without calling you and it doesn't seem to bother them but it nearly kills you. Does that mean you love them more then they love you?
A year passes, and you're still completely in love, but you are also emotionally exhausted. Lately it's been ups and downs and ups and downs. You are happy almost as quickly as you are sad. One moment it's all smiles 'I love them' the next it's tears and 'why am I dating them?'.
You ask yourself finally if love is worth it. If it's worth the tears and the pain and the doubts. The answer is yes because it's love. Love is what everyone wants, no matter what it comes with.