Ladies and gents: I have returned!!!
My muse is back...
Song for this vignette:
Where We Went Wrong by the Hush Sound
So basically, I repeat myself a lot. Not in words, but in actions.
I call it optimism; Adelia calls it insanity. Call it what you will, but it's just the way things are.
I've mostly moved past Tanner. Though you never forget your first love, you can express the desire to push him off of a tallish building. But, in moving on, I have become the broken record of relationships.
Just recently, I repeated myself again, knowing what the results would be and going ahead anyway. Probably not my best plan, but a learning experience nonetheless.
I tend to tell the guy I like that I like him, knowing I'll get rejected. I tend to fall for the same guys, or at least guys that all hang out together. I tend to get myself into situations that are hard to get out of. I tend to suffer from word vomit. And I tend to make the same mistakes over and over again.
This time, I did all of the above. He led me on. I let him. He took his sweet time about ending things.
I assumed that the long term hurt would be a hell of a lot worse than it actually was.
Once, I read on the wall of a bathroom stall "If your heart gets broken once, it's his fault. If it happens again, it's your fault."
That person was wise.
I should really get a new record.