Headphones

When the outside voices get too loud
They're shouting in my ear
"Can't you see what he's doing to you?"
Like I'm blind or something
They're shouting in my ear
"Don't you see it can't work?"
Like I've never been a dreamer

So I slip on my headphones
Where, if the volume is just right,
I can just pretend that everything's alright
Because the voices singing soothing lullabies
They just take me to this dreamland
Where, in fields of snow drops and lilies,
- they're my favorite flowers, you see -
He's standing there, waiting for me

And I slip off my headphones
And I fall into his arms
Because they're open there, waiting for me
Like I always used to imagine they would
And his arms, they wrap around me
And his hands are warm against my back
And my cheek against his chest
This is exactly where I should be

But reality falls around me
In rational thinking and outside intervention
But these people can't read my poetry
And they don't understand how I'm thinking
So, how do I explain myself
Without hurting anyone - including myself, mind you -
When all I want is to be left alone
But warm in these arms that said they'd be waiting for me

And I slip on my headphones
Looking for some easy way out
Praying for the quirky movie rules to
Intervene and save my day
Because, according to the script,
Isn't now when fate's supposed to somehow
Fix everything and make it okay?
Either I'm having a very bad week
Or I'm doing something very wrong
And the Higher Being is displeased

And I am very sorry
That I do not have this wavy, brown hair
And sparkling eyes and full pouty lips
And I'm sorry that my hips don't match my bust
And, yes, I'll admit my singing voice is definitely
Not something you'd voluntarily listen to
And I do talk a little funny, that is called a lisp
I do have a phone call down on my list somewhere
So I can call the person who put the 's' in lisp
And say, "Thank you very much for making it
Difficult to explain what the hell is wrong with the way I talk."

So I slip on my headphones
So I don't have to talk or look pretty
And all I have to do is fall into that dreamland
Where even when nothing is playing
There's an excuse not to listen to people
When all you want to hear is their approval
And all that you can hear is how sorry they are
That your life isn't normal like theirs and

You never grew up in the same house you were born in
Because you moved six months later
And nine schools later, you're not even where you want to be
You never thought the past would look so good
Even 12 months ago you were truly happy
And you never even knew it
Because now it's different, but not gone, supposedly
Yet you can't help but wonder if you're not the first person on his mind
And you look in the mirror in the morning and think to yourself,
"In fact, I don't doubt it at all...why would I be?"

But honestly, don't worry
That's not just low self esteem talking
Really, if that were the worst of my problems,
I'd be all set for life
No, the sad look in the mirror
That is simply headphone withdrawal