I have not known regret

My mistakes burn like molten coals
Clenched in my hand, the muscles taught like iron
Flesh bubbling and etching in the memory
Every line, every moment sizzles with crystal clarity
Too clear to be forgotten
Too painful to be forgiven
I have to remember

A forest that I walk through in silence
Every tree carved with those memories
Tapestries of pain and hatred for those mistakes
A wall of failure stretching back as far as thought
Looming all about me
Crushing me down to nothing
A place of oppressive and numbing silence
Save for the echoes of a single word,
Unforgiven.

Guilt etched into skin
Tattooed underneath my flesh
New wounds open it up
And I sketch down my mistakes with meticulous care
Then stitch the flesh up again
The scars fade, memories dulled
But in time the emotions build underneath
Swollen scar tissue hidden from sight
The marks of scathing hatred
For more than just the deed
But for who did it

I have not known regret
It was never so simple for me

I see the ripples of my failure spilling out like warm blood
Echoing beyond my life to all those around me
I have been staring at those ripples for so long
That is all I can see
Myopic eyes, magnify my distended sense of guilt
While I sense more beyond this reality
Its visceral impact always leaves me blind to the light
Beyond this pain

And deep down I am always left wondering
Does anyone ever truly deserve to be forgiven?

6:49pm
04/07/08