ANTICHRIST!

Characters
Mandy
Bed
CVS Cashier
Pregnancy Test
Satan

Scene begins in a blackout. The lights come up, and the stage is seen as such: The person playing BED is looking down at the ground on their hands and knees, with MANDY resting on top of the BED's back, sleeping. MANDY wakes up, rises into a sitting position on the BED, and wipes her eyes. As she does so, she feels a pain in her stomach and her hand flies to it.

MANDY
Ouch! Why does my stomach hurt so badly? I didn't eat anything funny, so it can't be food poisoning… Could I be pregnant? I can't be pregnant! I haven't had sex in months…and months!

BED
Raises head and addresses the audience. And months!

MANDY looks worriedly down at her stomach, her hand still on it.

MANDY
Hmm…

Blackout. The lights come back up, and the BED is gone. MANDY is standing in front of the CVS CASHIER. Next to the cashier, upstage, is the PREGNANCY TEST standing on a chair. Both of the PREGNANCY TEST's arms are stretched out in front of them, one hand with the thumb pointing up, and the other hand with the thumb pointing down.

MANDY
Hey, excuse me…but I need a whispers pregnancy test…

CVS CASHIER
Loudly and brightly Here you go! Takes the PREGNANCY TEST around the waist and helps them down from the chair, then hands them off to MANDY.

MANDY
Thanks…



Blackout. The lights come back up, and we are once again in MANDY's bedroom. She walks in and places the PREGNANCY TEST on the floor upstage right. She turns around and pops a squat over it, and then turns back around and addresses it.

MANDY
So?

PREGNANCY TEST
Holding up ten fingers Come back in ten minutes!

MANDY
Oh, all right… She paces around a little bit, then goes back to the PREGNANCY TEST. So…?

PREGNANCY TEST
Gives MANDY a thumbs up. You're pregnant!

MANDY
Oh no! She goes and sits on the BED, who is in their usual position. How could I be pregnant? I haven't had sex in months…and months…

BED
Looks up and addresses the audience. And months!

MANDY
I just don't understand…except…that dream I had…

The lights dim. Maniacal laughter is heard from backstage, and then SATAN enters from stage right, lurching towards MANDY, continuing to laugh maniacally. SATAN comes to a stop in front of MANDY and throws himself upon her. The lights go down completely, and all that is heard is the BED making squeaking noises. The lights come back up, and SATAN is gone. MANDY stares ahead in disbelief, then looks down at her stomach. SATAN's maniacal laughter is heard once again. Blackout. THE END.