What I've left behind
Chapter Two

It was a simple Friday night, and Cassie and Amy were sitting on Amy's couch watching 'Saw'. Ryan sat with them, with Cassie in the middle and Amy on the far side. They all sat, glued to the screen in astonishment as one of the main characters went mad and began to saw off his own foot. With a low threshold for pain, Cassie pulled a pillow from behind her and hid her face, the of crunching bone creating terrible images in her mind.

"God Ryan, don't you have a life?" Amy asked, her hands full of popcorn as she forced it into her mouth, totally engrossed in the film.

"Can't I spend some time with my sister?" Ryan exclaimed, but he knew the real reason he liked to stay in on Fridays with his sister; he had growing feelings for Cassie, which seemed like such a cliché.

"You still live here. I see you everyday. God, you're twenty-two, and you spend every Friday watching movies with us." He thanked the heavens for the fact that she seemed oblivious to his feelings for Cassie. Chancing a glance at her, he noticed she was smiling at him from his position behind the pillow. Smiling back, he felt a blush creep across his cheeks as she dared look back at the screen.

"What movie now then?" Cassie finally spoke up, attempting to change the subject. Amy looked at her strangely; it was almost midnight and she knew her mother would soon be yelling for them to go to bed. Even though Cassie lived next door to them, she spent every Friday night at Amy's, and Amy would spend Saturday night as Cassies.

"I guess we could start watching the 'final destination' trilogy." Amy mumbled, getting up in the darkness to change the disc. She barely noticed the exchange between her brother and Cassie, yet she detected something wasn't right between the two of them after the barbeque a few weeks ago.

The television came to life with a boy having a grotesque premonition of his plane blowing up, and Cassie twitched with fear; she never had liked horror movies. Ryan watched her as she shook with fear, her hands gripping the pillow. Gently taking her hand with his, his linked his fingers with hers reassuringly. A blush spread across her cheeks as he held her hand, and Amy tried to ignore the fact that her brother was holding her best friend's hand. To her, it just didn't seem right, and she vowed she would do something about it.


"Who was the father?" Cassie asked, sitting in the kitchen with her mother and James, who held her hand as she sipped coffee. He smiled at her warmly and she felt her skin warm up, and she tried to concentrate on what her mother was saying.

"A local boy. Fisherman down at the docks I think. Anyway, they were barely in a relationship and Amy found out she was pregnant. Needless to say, he up and left her and her mother was less than happy. Then she lost the baby, but nobody knows how. She came round once, asking for your number, but because you'd left your aunts she couldn't get in contact. Poor girl, she was only eighteen." Cassie was shocked at what her mother was telling her; Amy had rushed into a relationship with an older man, gotten pregnant and dumped, then lost the baby.

"I'm such an idiot, I should never have left." Cassie began blaming herself; afterall, if she had never left Amy wouldn't have felt so alone and rushed off with someone she barely knew. "Does she still live next door?"

"Yes, poor girl's still living with her mother. Barely got a job to keep her going, and her mother needs her to look after her."

"I think I'm going to go over. What...What about Ryan? Is he still living there?" She stuttered as she thought about Ryan, hoping that James wouldn't notice and ask questions.

"No, that boy left after you left town. I think he owns a small flat in the town centre. Why?"

"Oh, nevermind. I'll be back soon." She quickly left the room, heading next door as quickly as possible. The house looked familiar in the middle of the day, the same house that she had spent so much time in. Her hand hovered over the doorbell, mirroring her hesitation.

"Cassie? What are you doing here?" Amy stood in the doorway, looking like she was about to head out. She was shocked to see Cassie standing on her doorway, especially looking so great which made her feel mousy in her own baggy jeans and jumper.

"I'm back in town for a while, and thought I should come see you. Should I not?"

"No, god no. Come in." Amy led her into the house, which smelled faintly familiar. Cassie looked over Amy and noticed her mother had been right; she was still taking the miscarriage badly. "So, where have you been for the past five years?" Cassie ignored the bitterness in her voice and began telling her about her job, but left out the part about James. "Sounds like you have the perfect life, so why bother coming back?"

"I came back for...for my family, for you. We haven't spoken in years Amy, and that upsets me."

"That upsets you? Fucking hell Cass, you left five years ago for no apparent reason, leaving without telling anyone. You left me alone, I had nobody to turn to when I found out I was pregnant, even my own brother has barely spoken to me since you disappeared. And you're upset?" Tears were beginning to form in Amy's eyes, and Cassie moved to comfort her. "Don't you dare pity me."

"Amy, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry I left you, really."

"Just go." Cassie took the hint and left, trying to stop the tears in her own eyes. As she walked into the stairwell, a post-it note on the mirror caught her eye; it was Ryan's address. Quickly scribbling down his address in her notebook from her bag, she vowed that she would go to visit him later; afterall, he was the reason she left.


"Cassie, come on. It's 11:30." James urged her to come to bed, but she felt weird sleeping in her old bed with her fianceé. She stood at the foot of the bed in her silk nightie, the one James loved on her so much. Fumbling with the hem of her nightie, she didn't notice James standing up and lifting her chin with his soft hands. "What's up baby?" She shook her head, and he took her word for it.

He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, waiting for her to respond before deepening the kiss. He growled passionately as she nibbled on his lip, her thoughts wandering to her conversation with Amy, and the last time she had seen Ryan. What would he say when she turned up tomorrow?

James hands slipped under her nightie, tracing the skin that hid underneath. They broke apart only to lay on the bed, James' hands caressing her curves as she moaned in pleasure. After two years of being together, it seemed that James knew everything she loved, everything she wanted.


Cassie woke up early in the morning, a chill spreading across her as she realised she was naked. James' arm was wrapped around her waist while his legs were entwined with hers, and she found it a hassle getting out of his grip. Deciding to jump in the shower while everyone else was still in bed, she grabbed her favourite white dress, which hugged her curves and created the image of beauty.

"I'm going out, I'll be back later." Cassie whispered to James', who was wrapped in the bed sheets fast asleep. Pecking him on the cheek, Cassie exited the room and borrowed James' car. She knew people in the town would stare, wondering how she could afford such a car and where she had been for the past five years. Afterall, it was a small town and everybody knew everyone. Finally pulling up outside Ryan's small block of flats, she felt her heart beating through the small material of her dress; what was she doing here? It didn't feel right to her; she hadn't seen him in five years and she was just turning up at his flat unannounced.

"Hello?" Ryan's voice crackled through the intercom just as she was about to leave, and her cheeks began to warm at the comforting sound of his voice.

"Ryan? It's me...Cassie." There was silence on the other end of the intercom, and all Cassie could hear was his deep breathing. Then the door buzzed open, and she took a deep breath before entering the building.


"Can I help you?" Amy remarked, leaning against the doorframe as the strange man in front of her announced himself; James Dawson - the fianceé of Cassie. Amy let her mouth fall open in shock, afterall, Cassie had never told her that she was engaged. "Come in." She ushered him inside, and ignored the way he turned his nose up at the smell of cigarette smoke.

"Thanks for letting me in. Cassie's never really spoken about you, but when she does she's always smiling. So I thought I should come and introduce myself, as I'm sure Cassie will want you at the wedding." James sat uncomfortably at one end of the sofa, whilst Amy sat at the other, pondering what to say.

"Sorry if I'm out of order, but Cassie came over yesterday and she told me everything. Everything except the fact that she was engaged."

"We've been engaged for a year, surely she rang you to tell you?"

"Cassie left five years ago, without speaking a word of it to me. Yesterday was the first time I'd seen her. Can I get you a drink? Coffee?" James meerly nodded as she walked into the open plan kitchen, preparing drinks for them both. How could Cassie have failed to mention her engagement?

"Do you know why Cassie left five years ago? Or where she's gone today?" James yelled over the boiling of the kettle.

"All I know is that something may have happened between her and my brother, Ryan. She left, and he barely talks to me anymore. When she left, he seemed heartbroken, although why he'd want to be with my best friend, I'll never know, it seems like incest after how close our families used to be. And I have no idea where she is today, I told her to leave me alone."

"Oh." Was all James could think of to say as Amy brought the coffee's in. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he forced himself to believe that nothing had happened between this Ryan, and his fianceé.


They sat arkwardly on the sofa, inches apart but lifetimes away from each other. Ryan didn't know what to say; she had walked back into his life as quickly as she had left. But why was she back?

"Why are you back?" He asked, his voice coming to him.

"I..I wanted to see everyone. My parents, Amy...you." She turned towards him, hiding the tears she ached to release. He gently took hold of her face, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her sweetly. He had longed to do so for many years, and was happy that he finally got the chance, yet something didn't seem right in his mind.

"Why did you leave me Cass?" Ryan asked, the pain from discovering Cassie had left five years ago coming back to him.

"I...I had to get away. From you, from Amy, from everything." Tears were beginning to form in her eyes as Ryan edged closer, attempting to comfort her. "What we did..."

"Cass, i'll never forget it."

"Neither will I, but it's not right. You're Amy's brother, we can't be together." She turned away from him, a tear sliding down her cheek as she walked away from him, never looking back and breaking his heart. Pausing at the door, she turned back to him with her hand on the handle. "I'm engaged, Ryan. He's a wonderful man, and I hope you'll be able to move on too." With that she left his home, for what she hoped would be forever. He remained on the sofa, silent and still. She was engaged, and his heart felt broken and unmendable.

Authors Note: Next chapter, up and ready :) So reviews please, and I'll hopefully post chapter three up a.s.a.p :)

Chapter Three Snippet:

"Why didn't you tell me she was back Amy?" Ryan yelled, pacing the floor in front of her.

"Why, Ryan? Why didn't I tell you? You've barely spoken to me in five years, and you're only speaking to me now because she's back! Stay away from her Ryan, she's trouble." Amy had stood up in the midst of her anger, her arms crossed in front of her and her nails digging into her arms.

"Christ Amy, you don't know anything about her anymore!"

"Just stay away from her Ryan, she's not worth it! She's engaged!" Amy felt like she was yelling at a brick wall as Ryan walked away from her and out of the house, ignoring the strange crashes coming from upstairs as he slammed the front door shut.