"Your cancer…it's progressing, rapidly. Chemo won't do much now. Just cause you more pain. I'm sorry," the doctor said. "…but I'm afraid you only have a year to live." I looked at him blankly. My stomach grumbled. "Huh," I said pondering this. "Can you point me in the direction of the cafeteria, please?" I added as everyone gave me weird looks. I know that's not the reaction you'd expect to get from…well, anyone who finds out they're about to die. But hey, I aint' anyone now am I? I'm the girl that's got a year to live…

A Year to Live and Love

How do you explain to the two people you've known your whole life that you're going to die? Yeah, I didn't think you'd know either.

That was the situation I was stuck in. Yup, me Joanne Marie Blake, found out she had a year to live.

Yeah, I didn't think you'd get the party poppers out either.

Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. No matter how many times I say it, I'll never get used to it. To think that something's actually growing inside me, something that's not a baby that is, it's just unimaginable.

So back to the current situation I'm in. I found out I had a rare type of cancer, I won't go into to much detail, it may get boring. My best friends Lidia and Kyle Parkers were my two best friends. They were twins, I met them both when I accidentally, on purpose, threw my older brother's miniature toy car into their back yard when I was five…well we were five, but Jake was six (We, The Parkers and I, were neighbours in case you're confused).

What was I supposed to do? Go next door and say, 'Hey, you see I found out that I got cancer and guess what? I'm gonna' die! Oh, can I come in, I just love your mum's Mac and cheese?' OK, bad way of putting what I was feeling, but I think you get the point.

I wanted to tell them so badly. I just never had the nerve to do it. It's been a whole two months and I still haven't 'found the right time' as I put it to my parents.

Lid and Kyle were the two people, save my family, I cared for most. They were the two people, save my family, who were going to get hurt…

…and hurting them was the last thing I ever wanted to do…

x-x-x-x

"Jake! Call your sister!" I heard my mum shout.

"Which one?" Jake, my older brother shouted back. I half expected my mum to say 'the dying one'. But of course she didn't.

"Marie! Who else?!" Ah yes, everyone calls me Marie. I don't know why seeing as it's my middle name, but it's been Marie to everyone since I was born.

I got up before Jake even got in my room. "I'm up!" I shouted. Jake's ways of getting people up were…unusual. Sometimes he'd just sit there starring at the person, funnily enough they wake up. He says it's his, 'inner abilities'. I just say FREAK!

My younger sister Elizabeth, who tells everyone to call her Elizabeth, was moaning for someone to help her find one of her hair thingy's. I know what you might be thinking, 'a girl with a name you could make so many nicknames for (like Elle, Ellie, Lizzie, Liz, Beth, Eliza, Betty etc) likes to be called by her full name? Say it isn't so!' I'm afraid it is. I, however call her Elle, she hated it. Though when I found out I was dying, she softened up a bit, but still glared at me when I called her that.

I sighed and got washed up. I went over to my closet and chose a pair of skinny jeans and a grey sweater top to wear.

I tied my hair up into a messy bun, got my flat, ballet pumps out and grabbed my bag. I sighed again. I thought it over, in about a year or so, I wouldn't have to continue this stupid routine of getting up and going to school.

I was in my senior year so it was going to be different whether I lived or died, I'd go off to college but…it still made me think. It was moments like getting up for school, and brushing your teeth I'd miss. As terrible as they are, you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

"Ah, sleeping beauty had awoken. Finally, may I add," my mum said handing me my breakfast.

"Mornin' kiddo," my dad said in his British accent. Gosh, when was he going to loose it, it had been about twelve years since we moved from London to the US.

"Mornin'" I said mimicking his accent. I lost mine when I hit High school.

"Ha-ha," he said deadpanned, ruffling my hair. I froze, tears brimming. I never thought about it, but my dad always ruffled my hair. Jake was getting too tall and Elle just screamed if dad even came near her hair, I was just right. Who's hair would he ruffle now? I know that seems stupid, but like I said small things like ruffling hair, was going to change.

"You alright dear? You want us to take you to the hos-" my mum asked looking worried.

"No, I'm, fine," I said forcing a smile. She didn't look to convinced but dropped the subject when Lid and Kyle burst in. My parents didn't mind them bursting in like that, as long as it wasn't their bedroom. I honestly didn't want to know what they did! It was bad enough coming home from camp when I was six to find out I was going to have a sister.

"Lid, Kyle hey!" I said biting into my toast.

"No offence Hun, but you take forever to get up! We're late so move it!" Lid said pushing me out the door. "Hi Mr and Mrs B," she added.

"Sup'," was all Kyle could say. I laughed at them

"Bye mum, dad, Elle, Jake!" I shouted.

"Bye!" I hear shouts come from all over the house, I also got a 'Don't call me that!' from Elle.

x-x-x-x

"Ah, the wonders of high school," I said as the three of us pulled into a parking space. Or more like Kyle.

"Teeth?" We both asked each other.

"Good," we both said again. Kyle just rolled his eyes. His oh so amazing blue eyes that he shared with Lid, god they were lucky. Having such nice blue eyes, I got the boring green. Yeah I know, green's not boring, that's what your thinking, but it's hard having people crack the 'oh someone's jealous' joke. My eyes were, to my utter despair, very green. It almost hurt to look at.

"Make-up?" We both asked in unison. In case your wondering, this was a first day of year tradition, except we added the make-up bit in…say Sophomore year.

"Good!"

"You girls seriously have to stop doing that," Kyle sighed as he locked the car. Whoa, I thought, when had Kyle's voice gotten so deep?

"You OK there?" he asked waving a hand in front of my face. "You spaced out a little."

"Oh, I'm good." I nervously adjusted the bag strap on my shoulder. "Let's go to Hell." Kyle and Lid laughed, they both started and stopped at the same time.

We all looked at each other.

"Freaky-twins," I muttered amused. They were both tall, though Kyle was obviously taller. They both had the same blue eyes and brown hair, though Lid's was more of a Reddish-brunette.

After taking in my comment they both just shot me glares. Wow, and I thought I was slow!

x-x-x-x

John Hamilton. Every school's got a John. Tall, muscular, the it guy. The guy I as swooning over. It just so happened that Kyle and Jake were best friend's with John. I know squeal right?

I was so glad that we moved next door to Lid and Kyle…and mum and dad had a child before me.

John, Kyle and Jake were the infamous trio. Much to mine and Lid's horror, out brother's they were the most wanted. I know, sick right?

John however was something else. He was entirely wanted by myself and Lid. Though I knew Lid would snag him. My auburn hair, and green eyes were nothing to match Lid's gorgeous looks and killer personality.

Speak of the devil, as soon as we entered the school, Jake and John were waiting for us by my locker.

Yup, MY locker. Well my old locker, but I got the same one every year, so yeah, MY locker.

"How'd you get here faster than us?" I demanded from Jake. The rest of the gang just laughed.

"It's called waking up on time, and getting someone who doesn't drive as fast as my, sorry our gran!"

"Hey!" Kyle said punching Jake's arm.

"By the way," I added. "Grandma Jackie drives fast." We all laughed at that.

x-x-x-x

Kyle, Jake and I had the same homeroom, while Lid and John had the same homeroom. Our parents put Jake and I in school together at the same time, so we'd graduate together. Mum and Dad were weird like that, but I liked it, it meant I could have an older brother, in the same year as me, to protect me from the world we call 'High School'. That was an 'aw' moment right?

In case you hadn't noticed, I was very Anti-High school.

I sat down at my place.

"Psst." I was too busy starring into space to notice someone was calling me in homeroom.

"Psst."

"MARIE!" I heard a loud whisper call me. I broke out of my trance and saw my brother glaring at me beside me, and Kyle, who was next to him, give me a amused look.

"We're sitting next to each other, alls you gotta' is tap me on the shoulder," I said checking whether the teacher noticed us talking.

Mrs Brown, however, was not checking. She was snoozing. Honestly, she calls our names and falls asleep, it was like that every time.

"I did tap you on the shoulder."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'. Anyway, show us your timetable." I handed it over. Jake and Kyle compared.

"Sweet, we're in every class except…AP Calc," Kyle said.

"Wow, we've got a lotta' classes together," I murmured smiling.

"Aw, are you two having a moment?" Jake asked amused. I glared at him going a bit red, while Kyle just looked away. Jake smirked noticing this.

"If you wanna' put the moves on my sister, you better hurr- if you break her heart, so help me god, I'll break your face," Jake said trying to cover up his slip-up.

"What'd you mean 'hurry'?"

"I never said that."

"You did."

"He meant before I get snagged by some other gorgeous looking guy. But of course they wont be able to compete with your luscious looks!" I said winking, picking up my books hearing the bell.

"Man you've got it bad…" was the last thing I heard Jake say before Kyle slapped him behind the head. I left the class grinning, for the first time the fact that I was dying went away…then came back when I felt weak, my head started throbbing, and I started seeing flashes of light. I gripped onto the wall.

The doctor said I might have headaches, fevers, loss of feeling in my arms and legs, loss of speech or memory and my worst...vomiting and nausea. It was brain cancer after all, I didn't expect it to be a walk in the rain. I steadied myself as my breathing went back to normal and the flashes were gone.

I shook my head and continued on to Art. I saw Kyle fall in step with me, I smiled. He was quick to catch up with me.

Art. My one passion. A way I could free myself from everything that was anything. A way I could let go of all bad in life…it was a form of freedom.

I smiled at Ms Kace, who was our art teacher. She was young and knew exactly what she was doing.

I sat down at my usually spot, with Kyle next to me and brought out my canvas as we were told our first assignment.

I waved at Lilly and Becky who were two of my closest Art friends. They were both every….how's a nice way to put it? Out there? They worse bold, bright colours, which had paint all over them, and had so much jewellery, they could sell a shop!

Ms Kace told us to draw our summer holidays. I pondered. It was over the summer that I found out I had cancer. I smiled as I decided on what I was going to draw.

x-x-x-x

I didn't even notice the two hours go by.

"Marie. Impressive," Ms Kace said as she walked around the class. Kyle had drawn a picture of a ranch his grandfather owned. They had gone to visit him over the summer, leaving me to get bored outta' my mind.

Not that it mattered. It was better that they weren't there when I was suffering my…'symptoms'.

I looked up and smiled at her. I noticed that Kyle was looking intently at my work, a small frown on his face.

I looked back down at my canvas. I had drawn the sky, clouds, and I draw a gate. One that looked important…one I wanted to represent the gates of heaven.

I had taken a red marker to contrast the soft colours on the picture and wrote carefully, 'I'm not afraid to enter'.

"How does it represent your summer?" Kyle asked confused. Ms Kace looked at me too, intrigued for an answer.

"Let's just say I found out some things that are gonna' turn out quite heavenly," I said smiling softly. Ms Kace nodded in approval and went off to check the other pieces of work.

"You're going to have to explain that," Kyle said softly looking down at his work.

"Yeah, I will…" I said sadly.

Hope you liked it!! (-: