"You don't understand." I explained, ireful that I was having this argument for the millionth time. My girl furiously brushed her hair out of her eyes, shooting daggers at me with her eyes.
"You don't want me to." she said, exasperated. "You pay more attention to other women than you do me. Then when I ask you why, you tell me I don't understand. Make me understand, damn it! Make me understand!" I took three strides forward, catching her arms in a bruising grip. She startled, fear replacing the anger in her eyes. I roughly pushed her up against the wall.
"Make you understand?" I whispered darkly, placing my hands on her wrists and lifting her arms brutally above her head, causing her to whimper softly. Her panic struck gaze locked on mine.
"Baby, don—" I cut her off with a violent kiss, prying her mouth open to slip my tongue inside. I closed the space between us as our tongues darted around each other. Touching her, teasing her, making her want more. She ground her hips into mine as I pulled away from the scorching kiss.
"How can you make me desire what you're offering, knowing you gave it to someone else?" She murmured softly, her eyes dark with pain and need. I smiled slightly.
"Because I'm amazingly sexy and you just can't tell me no?" She smiled a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. I sensed trouble. She pulled on her wrists gently, but I held firm, pressing my body up harder against her.
"What's with that look?" She shook her head.
"Let me go." she whispered. I raised an eyebrow.
"Less than half a minute ago, you were moving against me in a 'strip off my clothes and rape me' sort of way. Now you're telling me to get off you. Reason?" She bit her lip, her eyes were down low and darting back and forth nervously.
"I knew her." She said at last. "She was my friend. My best friend. I walked in on you and her together, without clothes on, holding each other in your bed. The same bed we held each other in. What am I supposed to do, pretend it never happened and go ahead and sleep with you anyway?" Yes. I wanted to say. I always hated it when she suspected me of infidelity. Yes, it was always true, but that's just who I am. I never wanted to change, and I wanted so bad to say it. I wanted to look her in the eye, say "yes, I slept with your best friend, and I will more than likely do it again, and there's not a thing you can do to stop me", and just be done with this conversation forever. But I knew better. I said that, and there would be tears, there would be screaming, and the next thing I knew, she'd be at her mother's, swearing up and down she'll never let me touch her again. I sighed long and heavy; I knew what I had to do. I blinked slowly, and lowered my head a little. I felt the tension in her arms lessen as she stared at me. I looked up at her pitifully.
"You're right." I said softly, forcing my voice to tremble a little. "I didn't think...I never meant to hurt you, baby." That much, at least, was very true. I never meant to hurt her. I never meant to be caught, a mistake I would not make again. I concentrated on my speech again, forcing my voice to break every now and again as I pressed on. "I love you so much. I let myself risk losing you...You are the only girl for me...You'll always be the only girl for me...Oh, baby, I love you. I love you so much...Please forgive me...Please..." I forced myself to cry on the last word. Thank the good lord for drama, I thought. My girl pulled her arms out of my grip and wrapped them around my neck. I nuzzled close to her, taking in the sweet smell of orchids at the base of her neck. I fake cried on her shoulder, clutching her to me like she was the last thing on earth. She rubbed my back gently. I couldn't help the small smile over her shoulder. She kissed my collar bone and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Baby, it's ok. I didn't think you did it to hurt me. I would like to know, though...Why did you have sex with her?" I thought about it for a while. I almost said the truth, that I thought she was a gorgeous girl, and I just needed to say I'd done her. Pride and desire. She was hot, and I wanted her. But I knew better than to say that. So instead, I did what I was best at. I lied.
"I don't know." I whispered sadly, trying really hard to sound regretful. "I think I had something to drink that night, and...I just don't know what I was thinking...I'm so sorry, angel."You tighten your grip on my neck, holding me tight against you. I actually resist the urge to grope you. There was a long silence, and for just a moment, I lost my cool. Did you not buy the act? Did I slip up somewhere? Did I not get the crying thing right? Was she going to call my bluff? But after a few moments, she pulled back and kissed me softly.
"It's ok baby." She said as she broke the kiss. "I forgive you." I noticed right away she didn't say she loved me too, but right then, I didn't care. She let me off the hook! I could hardly believe my luck. She held me close and whispered softly in my ear, "Let's go to bed." That night, we made the sweetest love we'd ever made to each other, worshiping each other's body with the pale moon light bathing us in it's soft glow.
The next morning we kissed goodbye on my porch. I told her I'd miss her, and to have a good day at work. She told me she would, she told me she'd miss me too, and she told me not to sleep all day. I laughed and kissed her softly, promising I wouldn't. As she got in her car and pulled away, I couldn't help but still feel triumphant after the night before. I smiled softly to myself as I watched my girl's tail lights fade into the bright morning sun. With a bit of a cocky laugh, I walked inside and closed the door behind me. I pulled my cell phone out as I sprawled out on the sofa and dialed a number from memory. Three rings and a quiet voice answers. I can't help but smile.
"Hey, Sandra, it's me."
A/N: This is told from the point of view of one of my ex's. I hope I did ok with it. :)