Donut Shop Confessions

Scene: A darkened donut shop, except for a light to stage L. There is an outline of a body on the floor, and there are slow flashes of red and blue lights throughout the scene.

(CANDI is on her knees in the spotlight and appears to be crying. There is someone in the shadow to her right, an OFFICER. CANDI is quiet for a moment and then she smacks her hand against the floor angrily)


All I wanted was a stupid… freaking… DONUT! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

(Pauses, calming herself)

But no. Ohhhh no. This stupid, most SENILE old prune had to be in front of me in a line that was already a mile long, and then her granddaughter walks in! Isn't that just so keen?! And the old lady says, "Here, Jessica, you come in front of me, dear, I don't mind!" Uh, I DO! So I say to her, "Excuse me, but I think it's a little rude that you let someone cut in front of you when there's someone behind you." And then, get this-

(She stands up)

She starts scolding me about "my lack of patience", and how I should friggin' respect crazy old tarts like her! Like HER!


Well, not in those exact words, as you can imagine…


So I wait. And wait. And wait some more, until it's my turn to order. Except…

(CANDI's face twists angrily)

They. Were. Closed.

(She cracks her knuckles slowly and paces in a circle in the spotlight)

This stupid little blonde bimbo, instead of being all friendly-like, just said, "Sorry, we're, like, closed!" and was outta there like Hellfire!

(CANDI stops and glares down at the floor)

That crazy old lady was just leaving with her granddaughter, about to eat her donut, and… I don't know…

(She starts to cry again)

I just snapped

(She wipes at her eyes)

I didn't mean to kill her! I was just having a bad day, and what was she… 90? She was gonna go any day anyways!


She never even saw me coming…

(CANDI looks to the OFFICER standing in the shadow)

There you go, officer. A full confession.

(She laughs wryly)

You know what the worst part of the whole thing was? I never even got the donut…

(Starts wailing as the OFFICER leads her away)



Wrote this ages and ages ago for a class.

For irony's sake, have a donut. :D