Chapter 3

I walked back into the classroom, amazed by the fact that Mrs

I walked back into the classroom, amazed by the fact that Mrs. Anders was still thinking the ideal spot for white head. I blinked in surprise. I was expecting that the lesson would have already started and all. My mind wasn't blank, I still had Brian in my thoughts, but somehow I managed not to cry once more. Enough for today. It's strange how you can love a person who destroys you day after day, slowly, with just one thought that he exists and that once he had sympathy towards you. I loved Brian but on the other hand I disliked him for breaking me, for leaving the shards of my heart to cut me and slowly drive me insane.

"You. Missed. Such. A. Show." Dani said between gasps of air. I stared at a grinning Phoenix and smirking Dani rather confused and only then I saw the mad look in the teacher's eye. I did something wrong again? Oh, wait, I didn't knock. Is that the stupid reason? But no, they all seemed to stare at Daisuke's empty seat. At least I'm not the culprit of their grinning.

"What happened?" I asked switching my gaze from Dani to Phoenix and back to Dani. Both of them burst out laughing, ignoring Mrs. Anders' warning. This was getting annoying, I cleared my throat to return them to their senses, since the literature teacher was damn busy. DOESN'T SHE SEE THE SPOT NEAR THE WINDOW ON THE FIRST ROW?! Oh, hooray, she saw it. All hail the wisest of teachers. In a billion years that is.

"Daisuke kept taking out his mob, like all the time and then he shouts out: "who the hell is sending me porn?!" Phoenix said grinning. And? That's it? Ha-ha. "But he didn't say hell, he said something harsher." Phoenix said ignoring Mrs. Anders' death glare and continued. "She blew her top and sent him to the principal. Poor kiddo." She smirked. I'm thrilled, I feel so depressed that I skipped that.

"Who was sending porn, anyway?" I whispered to Phoenix bored, as I opened my notebook and began writing today's date. Phoenix only shrugged, she didn't care, all she needed was a gag, to get her thoughts of the breathtaking lessons we had ahead today. I heard a smirk in front of me and gazed at Akito once more.

"I wonder who could do such a thing. Defiantly, a person who has a bad taste of humour and who doesn't respect his family." He smirked at my question, as his black eyes focused on me. What a freak. Seriously. Wait, wait, that freak sent Daisuke porn?! Family? I guess he is the freaky cousin Daisuke mentioned once. Well, he fits his description. What the hell did Phoenix find in him anyway? I wanted to tell him something, but the words simply didn't come, I glared at him for a while before diving in the Literature lesson.


I waved at Phoenix and Dani, who denied my idea to meet Stu together. Oh, well, next time, I guess. I walked down watching the snowflakes fall down. They seemed like glass shards falling and breaking against the ground, another shard, followed by another, breaking into nothing, leaving a cold feeling. Something compared to the pieces of my broken heart. But despite all of the shard thinking, my mind was completely blank for the first time in a long time. I simply gazed at the snowflakes falling down, as if waiting to hear a glass breaking sound.

"Kana!" I heard white head call me. Not a glass breaking shard, damn it. I guess he found out my name, thanks to Mrs. Anders' yells that I couldn't find the part I should have read. I stopped for a second, to glance at him, running to catch up on me. He stopped to stabilize his breath, when he was beside me. I stared at him, bored, waiting for the right time to yawn. Shiro grinned, as he was breathing normally. He's too tall. This isn't fair I was one of the tallest… Like three years ago? I smirked at my own stupidity.

"What are you smirking at?" Shiro asked me, as we walked on. I raised my head. Great, to look into his eyes, I have to raise my head. To look into his eyes? What the hell is going with me? I slapped my self in my mind. I've been slapping myself in my mind a lot lately. I simply shook my head. He was annoying. I muttered a 'nada'. We walked on silently, as the snowflakes fell on my face, every time I'd raise my head. I ignored Shiro completely; I wasn't so friendly these days.


Heaven. I never was religious, but if you could call a moment of your life this holy name, I'd give this part of my life this name. I lived in heaven, until I fell down, down, down… Into reality known as hell. I couldn't stop grinning at the male besides me. His dark blue eyes seemed to shine, as the snowflakes fell down. Both of us slightly childish, for the beginning of our teenage years, but we kept grinning like maniacs.

"This seems so…" I said trying to find a proper name for the falling stars surrounding me. "Magical. Oh, damn, I can't describe it." I grinned at Brian. Damn, we looked like freaks, but I was truly happy.

"And you're known to be the best at describing." Brian teased me, fixing his glasses. I smiled at him, before returning my gaze to the falling stars. They were sparkling, as if they were glass shards.

"Ah, c'mon, I'm no Shakespeare! I'm just me." I said grinning. "But they do sparkle, like glass shards falling to brake into nothing." I said what I just thought of a second ago. Brian knew my addiction to describing.

"Like your eyes." Brian said softly, stopping my thoughts of what else do the falling stars remind me of. I felt my cheeks heat up. Before I could protest, I felt him kissing me.

Heaven. Just a step from falling into hell.


I stopped, as the memory appeared in my head. It was as if I felt Brian's lips once more. I lived between memories; memories were the thing which held me in this reality. Was it the only thing which kept me going? Wasn't there anything else to keep me going? Wasn't there? I felt tears cloud up my eyes, I looked at Shiro. His face held a worried look. He looked so innocent, not knowing what was going on with me. As if I knew what was going on with me. Don't get me wrong, Shiro is simply another male from my class, nothing else. But he never loved someone with his whole heart and had it broken into shards like the snowflakes which were falling now.

"Hey. Um, you ok?" Shiro asked, as he stopped and wondered what to do. Ok, I doubt I'm the only case. But damn, I loved Brian damn lot. Brian. His name was like a knife stabbing my heart. Good thing, I don't know anyone else with the name Brian, beside Marilyn Manson and Molko from Placebo. But it's not like I see them every day. I stared at Shiro. I don't know if I was crying or not. Without a doubt, I'm too broken to even have a male friend. I didn't even know to nod or simply shake my head.

"I… don't know…" I said looking at the snow under my dr.martens. "I apologize… I'm always like this… I…" I didn't know what to say. I simply felt my cheeks go wet. I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't know what to say. Shiro simply looked at me. His eyes were a pure grey, greyish grey. We stood there, until my tears stopped falling. His eyes were sparkling. Maybe he wanted to cry too? That's not exactly too masculine, so no. They sparkled, like the star shards which fell.

I rubbed my wet cheek with my mitten, taking my gaze from him. Why was he staring at me for so long? He walked up to me, I guess he'll give me a tissue, I think. Shiro smiled softly and pulled me close to him. My tears stopped all right. What the hell? He was hugging me, tight, but I could breathe. My eyes went wide. I tried to take his arms off me, but failed. Why was this happening? Why was the wrong person hugging me and calming me down, by whispering me phrases into my ears to hush? It only resulted more tears to fall down from my eyes.

"Shiro… umm, your girlfriend will get… umm… mad." I said, biting my lip, much to my surprise, my tears stopped. Like wow, they listened to me for the first time. Shiro let go of me and apologized. The same sparkle was still left in his eyes along with a sad look.

"It's ok, really. It's my fault that I hugged you. As for my love life, don't worry, it won't ruin it." Shiro smirked.