The Attack

The Attack

As I lay in bed during night before

I feel my chest is heavy and my eyes are sore

My breathing is ragged and oxygen levels are low

My heart beating quickly but my blood is moving slow

I sit myself up in my cramp little room

Trying to find my inhaler in the darkness and gloom

My hand finds the familiar blue plastic casing

My heart beat increasing so fast it is racing

I take a few breathes from it

Hoping it shall help a bit

Breathing a sigh of relief as my heart rate slows down

Reaching for my other inhaler, this one is brown

I take a few breaths of that one as well

Disliking the taste and disliking the smell

I lay back down in my bed, inhaler still in hand

Closing my eyes tightly, too dizzy to stand

My head hurts so much that everything is spinning

My whole body aches as my blood is thinning

Mother's birthday tomorrow so I've got to be happy

I must get up early and not be grumpy or snappy

Slowly my eyes close, going back to sleep

Not waking all night for that sleep was deep




My eyes fly open and the next morning is here

I am unable to breathe and my heart fills with fear

I fumble around desperately looking for air

Only to be distracted by a strand of hair

Sweeping it hurriedly out of the way

Fighting to stay conscious for this life is where I want to stay

Finally finding my inhaler and taking a breath

Rather narrowly avoiding a painful death

My heart beat slowly returns to normal and I get up and get ready

Hoping the day will go well and my heartbeat will remain steady

Going down stairs into the kitchen where mother is making coffee

Smiling and giving her a present and card and getting myself a cup of tea

A while later everything seems to be going well

We decide to go to a restaurant near mother's favourite hotel

As we arrive I feel my chest tighten again

I sit down looking pale, hoping my heart will take the strain

I leave for the toilet; perhaps there I shall be able to get calm

Once again I find my inhaler in my palm

After a few breaths my heart rate slows once more

I go back into the restaurant, my chest rather sore




Later that evening mother asked if I was well

I just nodded and smiled, knowing she was able to tell

She knew it was my asthma and asked the doctor what to do
He said we should go to the hospital and see Dr McAndrew

Mother said she didn't think I should go out that night

So I went back to my room, my chest heavy and tight

My body was aching and my head hurt lots too

I took my inhaler again and got into bed; what else could I do?

After what seemed like an eternity I fell asleep once more

A little while later mother opened the door

She looked down at me lying in bed struggling to breathe

But left me alone to sleep as sleep was best she believed




In the morning I awoke feeling drowsy and sick

My chest was still tight and the sweating made me sticky

So mother took me to the hospital to see what could be done

They sent us 100 miles to pick up some tablets from a woman

By this time I was hardly able to breathe again

I knew that my heart and lungs were struggling under the strain

Once we eventually got home I collapsed on a chair

And awoke a few hours later to my mother's concerned stare

I told her I was fine, just not feeling too great

I fell back to sleep until it was quite late

I woke up and was still unable to breathe clearly

As I lay on the sofa in our living room that is rather dreary




Mother rung the doctors and asked what to do

They said I must take my inhaler not one time but two

As that didn't work they said to up the dosage more

This sent my heart beat rocketing through the upstairs floor

But still my breathing was ragged and I could not breathe well

So they told me to go to hospital as I was seriously ill as far as they could tell

It was late at night and I had school in the morning

But I couldn't keep awake and my mother saw me once again yawning

She opened all the windows in the car to try and keep me from sleep

Every small breathe for me was like a giant leap

I was struggling a lot more by the time we reached the doctors and nurses

They told me to skip the waiting queue despite other patient's curses

I went into a room where they measured my heart beat

All I remember is that beep on repeat

The speed of my heart rate was twice above the average one

Something which most people would not see as fun

They took me into a room and made me wear an oxygen mask

Putting the mask on was almost too bigger task

With a little help from the doctor I managed okay

He told mother he'd be right back and that with me she should stay




When the doctor returned the mask hadn't done much good

My heart beat wasn't slowing the way that it should

He added more oxygen to the breathes I was taking

This scene was a catastrophic scene in the making

As my chest grew tighter and my heart sped up more

The whole room was spinning and another doctor came through the door

They added more oxygen and forced me to breathe in

They added yet more canisters of oxygen throwing the old ones in the bin

And as my head span wildly around and my heart rate increased again

I felt my lungs getting fuller and a lessening of the strain

After a few more minutes they removed the mask from me

My head was spinning more rapidly; so fast that I could not see

They laid me down on the bed in the room and told me to just rest

After about half an hour the doctor came back to do a test

My heart rate was gradually slowing itself down to resting pace

And I no longer felt as though I was running a never ending race

The doctor said I could go home if I wanted and that I would be fine

I didn't know what he said to mother at the time

I thanked him for helping me and making me well

My mum looked fragile like a shell

She passed me the tablets he had given her for me

I asked what they were for

And she replied that they are the same ones as before

She said I had to take six as soon as I got back

Then go to sleep and get some rest for that was what I lacked




The following morning I climbed out of bed

My heart beat was still high but the most pain was in my head

The increased oxygen levels had given my a headache

Mother said I didn't have to go to school for my health's sake

Later that day we visited the doctor's surgery

And I found out why my mother had worried

If I had arrived just a few minutes later the previous night

I would not have been there that morning and had given mother quite a fright

I had been so close to death it was hard to believe

But I was alive and that in itself was a relief

That night I heard my mother crying because she had nearly lost me

But, mother, I'm not going anywhere; by your side I will always be






A/N: Everything in this poem is true and actually happened to me. All I can say is I'm sorry mother. I didn't mean to scare you like that but I'm not going anywhere and I never will.