You said, "Let's leave this place," and it hit me.
If we left now, tomorrow I could be somewhere else. I could be somebody else. I could start over.
I could travel all over the country, all over the world. I could change my name every stop we made. I'm sick of being bound to a certain identity. I want to try being somebody else. I could do that.
Personality is just this made up concept. I don't have to act the way I do. But I've got it in my head that this is who I am. It feels static. David is shy, David is timid, he's awkward, he's pathetic, he doesn't know how to talk to people. But maybe with a different name I could free myself from the constraints of that personality. I could become somebody else.
I could shed my past. Maybe David is haunted by memories of a troubled childhood, but maybe Steven wouldn't be.
The past doesn't really exist anyway. It's all flexible; it's all subjective, determined by what I thought I saw, what I thought happened. It could have happened differently. It could have not happened at all. I could not have a past. I could reinvent myself, starting now.
Reality is subjective. Who's to say that I'm lying, if a make up a name? If that's the name that feels right, is it a lie? Maybe I was lying when I told everybody my name was David, a name that always felt too big for me to fill. Birth certificates and government records don't say who I am. I should get to decide that for myself.
We're only young once. Why spend that time to an identity given to you by somebody else? Why not be who you want, trying out different identities until you find one that fits.
I've been this one person in this one place my whole life. Maybe it's time for some change.