please remember to breathe.
Josie tells me she loves me but I can't believe a word she says. It's hard, her letters are all jumbled up until the ink just reeks of nail-polish remover and antifreeze, and it taste like vomit as I push the words out of my throat, the taste is just too bad.
Josie cries and ask me why I have to hurt her so badly, and I want to tell her the truth if only she understood, I'm scared, but that's not good enough.
"I'm sorry." I crock and I wince watching the tears pile up between Josie eyelids again, the dirt brown of her irises buried beneath a layer of hurt. Just thinking I caused her such pain make my heart wrench. "I'm sorry," I whisper again.
"Sorry's not good enough." Josie lights a cigarette and I wonder if she even knows she's killing herself, probably. I hate the things Josie does, even though I probably do worst, my god. "Actions speak louder then words Alice. When are you going to do something?" Biting my lip— I draw blood, I can feel it sinking down my mouth— I stay silence and Josie digs her feet into the dirt, coughing slightly. Shaking her head, she stands up, her feet wobbling, like she's going to fall over any second and lets out another cough, this one louder, like chalk clawing against a chalkboard and I wince, my heart twisting.
"Well, when you can do something, tell me." She starts to walk away, the grass crumbling under her feet and I bury my head in my knees, not stopping her, it'd be no use. "I—"