Desperate-ococcus:

Highly contagious!

Symptoms:

These sufferers start out with a few subtle hints which may gradually escalate to full-blown begging.

Possible Warning Signs:

"You know you want to read this." Actually, a reader doesn't know that. So, he or she generally won't.

"Please R&R or I won't update." Sufferers in this case should keep their word.

"Please R&R because I know how many hits my work is getting and if you are not reviewing it's because you are mean." This is a delusional, illogical conclusion resulting from prolonged Desperate-ococcus. Prospective reviewers might be lazy, anti-social, confused, or a multiplicity of other things, but rarely just plain mean. Regardless, there is a good chance that some of those who have read the work don't like the piece. Saying nothing is sometimes the kindest way to say it all.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't get more reviews soon; but if something happens to me, I blame you guys who aren't reviewing." It is not advisable to threaten or blame one's audience, and a common misconception among those afflicted is that this type of threatening will drive the reader into a so-called 'guilt trip'. Generally speaking, fiction readers do not wish any evil to come upon a writer, but neither do they harbor a desire to respond kindly to threats.

"I know most will not understand what I am trying to get across." Realize that the reader who comforts this lonely, "nobody understands me" individual with an inspiring review will only prolong the agony of Desperate-ococcus. Weeding through the garbled thoughts, and trying to bolster this writer with an "I get it" review, will end up giving fiction readers what? Another post from this sufferer, except this time the sufferer really thinks he or she is good. Thanks, sympathetic reviewer, but a dose of candor is often best for the afflicted. (This can also be a subtle statement posted by an Ultimate Authority-osis sufferer.)

Prognosis:

Fair. Some who experience Desperate-ococcus can get better with guidance.

Treatment:

If signs of escalation are apparent, it may help to redirect that creativity. Sending a kind but direct message might be in order, perhaps in the form of a PM that points to each offending action specifically.

Disclaimer: While researching this affliction, no evidence was found after the case studies were performed.

Journal Disclaimer: Just because you or someone you know may have symptoms of the afflictions listed does not necessarily mean the case is a fully-developed one. (The author admits to having several of these symptoms, which come and go in various stages of writing.) Remember, before pointing fingers, you should consider your own work. Unless you are diagnosed as a Lazy Rearitis; in that case, it is shocking that you took the time to read to the end of this piece.