tonight i tell myself

tonight i tell myself
i shall die again
i must rejoice then
drink until the liquid flows back out
until i could drown my heart
and stop at its death
so i could no longer feel
so i could not hear you
it pains so much i could not think
and yet you
lying in the arms of another man
and i alone
with the sorrow you have left
tonight i'll drown myself
so i could sleep
with my eyes closed
my heart dead
silence embracing me
with no tears in my eyes
no sadness in my heart
none of you in my mind
let me rest for tonight
let me forget for awhile
let me drown my sorrow
so i may find my peace
only for tonight.