A Senior Year to Forget

A Senior Year to Forget

I'll never look at Lamb Chop the same.

Why? What's wrong with a little ol' handpuppet?

Well, I was reading in this sort of old science book that a guy got a really bad bug/microbe thing-a-mabob from a sheep. Not from like petting it or anything but…screwing it…repeatedly.

And I think, that poor sheep! If that isn't high abuse it's rape!Damned if PETA hasn't done it's job! Just as I was beginning to shove the idea into the very back of my mind, I ran into dear, sweet Nat.

Thank God he's not like that sick sheep-rapist but he just had to bring up Lamb Chop. Of all the children's progamming "hosts" he just had to bring up one I liked. Now I can't shake the connection between abused sheep and fuzzy sock puppets! Hey!

That's it! Lamb Chop should use her star power to end such atrocities against farm animals! If she can go on The Nanny, she can do anything!

But I don't think that the sanctity of a sheep's right to say "no"—not with hideous gas and food prices and the prospect of queers tying the knot—is a priority for your Average Joe Americans. God bless us all.

Still. Lam Chop is holding out on her people. Typical celebrity, right?

But its okay, as soon as I finish chasing the feral camels of Australia, I'll come right back to El Paso and share with the world the plight of barn critters everywhere. If only my senior year would finally end.