Danced like I was in the movies and sang like no one was listening. Opened up the house in the morning, then pulled all the shades against the afternoon heat. Went swimming when the sun went down and floated on the surface until the stars came out. Walked to the library and did my summer reading and then my winter reading and then my spring reading too. Bought vanilla blended ice with the bubble top, purple straw and mango jelly shaped like stars. Met a boy named Adam. Sat with Adam on his front lawn and turned the radio up, then drove and drove with the windows rolled down out into the rice paddies with the white birds and the singing cicadas and the setting sun. Smoked my first cigarette. Tried on pretty clothes at the mall with Sarah and bought a pair of jeans one size too small. Skipped breakfast and lunch and ate a banana for dinner. Watched TV and cut all the stupid smiling supermodel faces out of my sister's magazines. Didn't eat for three days. Drank sticky warm rum and coke with Adam, took off all my clothes, and then puked in his lap and spent the night on the dirty carpet. Went to Longs with Sarah and made her buy me fourteen bars of chocolate, six packs of gum and can of diet coke. Stacked the bars of chocolate in my sock drawer and didn't eat a single one. Got high with Adam and some of his friends in his room and tried to eat my hand. Told Sarah where she could stick it when she tried to make me eat that sandwich because she just wants me to be fatter than she is. Woke up at 1 am and went running until I fell down. Didn't eat for a week straight. Used up all the gum and cigarettes. Didn't get out of bed. Don't pick up the phone. Thought that someone was calling me from the other room. Was too dizzy to get up. Don't answer; it's not real. Don't eat. DON'T EAT. Woke up in the hospital and tried to yank the IV out of my arm because they were ruining all of my hard work. Let them bloat me with nasty calories and smiled real wide the whole time. Was discharged. Attended first day of school with a new dress and a new haircut and used all my lunch money to buy a fresh pack of cigarettes and watermelon flavored Extra.