This is a journal we had to do for Playwriting. Good luck trying to make sense of mine. Cameos by Keiran and Caomhe and Keiran's parents!


Qzie's Wonderfully Incoherent Journal

Even while in a notebook, it's out of order because the writer can never do anything in order, and for that, she is deeply sorry. She wonders if you can plead neurological damage for these types of things…. She hopes you enjoy the journal anyways.

--

Monologue Draft One: You Suck, David Holmes.

Setting: David's apartment; the living room, to be precise. There isn't much there. There's an old couch at stage L facing a TV that's at stage R. A coffee table is sitting next to the couch with a phone and answering machine on it. There's also a picture of David and Molly.

(DAVID enters from L. He looks exhausted. He goes over to the answering machine and plays the only message)

MOLLY'S VOICE

(Angry)

You SUCK, David Holmes! You really do! And don't you DARE make a redhead comment because that's one of the reasons you suck! And- and you just FAIL. You FAIL at LIFE, you loser! If you think you're EVER gonna get me back, then-

(Machine cuts off)

DAVID

Yeah… probably deserved that.

(Pauses to think)

Probably wasn't the greatest idea trying to win her back after the World's Worst Date. Leave it to my mother.

(Shakes his head. He walks across the room to turn on the TV, but it's all static)

Again?! Really?!

--

The writer is doodling. Just with words.

Possible Opening Lines:

Let me tell you a story about something that happened a very long time ago, happened not so long ago, and won't happen again for more than a thousand years.

There aren't very many magical places in the world, and when you find one, take good care of it. (Side note: God that sucks.)

Virgil was 83 when he sold his house.

You ever get that feeling that you're just waiting for something?

--

Hey, I think this is something we did in class!

I hate it when my computer freezes. Seriously, I know it's getting on in years… but technologically speaking, it's middle aged. More reasons why… I hate it when I have to drive next to a semi. Those things are freakin' scary and they're like the bullies of the highway! Most people would probably say it's an SUV, but NO. It's a SEMI, man! 'Cuz really, when it's you in your itty bitty car vs a

--

Keiran: I want to be 21.

Caomhe: No.

K: Why?

C: Because I can see you landing yourself in the hospital again.

K: But Laurie's 25 and she says that beer is good.

C: Beer is bad.

K: NO! Caomhe, don't kill my dreams!

C: No. Killing.

Matthias- sing

M: Ohhh cuz Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A! Bologna's a funny word. It looks like it should be pronounced ba-log-nah.

Phoebe- spying

P: I wish I were older. Then I could watch Friends out in the open. But nooo I have t-to-

K: Why'd you stutter?

P: I du-dunno?

M: You should get speech therapy.

P: I d-don't n-need sp-speech-

C: Leave her alone, guys.

K: But she needs our help!

M: She needs therapy!

P: N-no!

C: Achoo!

K: YOU'RE DYING!

C: Oh no. Someone took their drama- ah- ah- achoo!

K: YOU ARE TURNING INTO A PIG!

M: Wait, what?

P: Wh-where di-did that co-come from?

K: You have caught the PIG DISEASE…! You watched Dancing with the Stars, didn't you? I TOLD you that show would lead to no good, Caomhe!

C: …Oy…

K: The only cure is to let me have my way with you.

C: NO.

M: Haaa!

P: …I'm frightened…

M: You're better!

--

These are the shoes that have been around longer than they appear. They have, as far as they're concerned, seen the world (or at least the interesting part of the world). They've gotten a little dirty- they weren't made yesterday… these are the shoes that almost got hammered to the floor one April Fool's Day, but a lack of hammer prevented it. These are the shoes that have lived a full life and don't intend to stop now.

--

These are the shoes that a ninja wore because they were comfortable and quiet. No sense in buying shoes for long missions if they didn't meet those requirements. They may have had the bright colors on them, but they could be easily hidden. These are the shoes that made acquaintances with the back of the enemy's head, a cruel "how-do" from this ninja to you. These are the shoes that got dumped after they squeaked on the floor, and were picked up by a small group of teenagers who obviously had nothing better to do than look for interesting trash in public garbage cans. These are the shoes that were spiffed up and used to entertain tons of viewers on YouTube as their story was told.

--

Unnamed list.

1) Daisy drinking water

2) The cat meowing at the door

3) Footsteps

4) Lilith scratching at the door

5) Wind

6) Characters going stir crazy

7) Breathing

Question: Why can't that demon of a cat ever be happy where she is?

Answer: Because she's a cat.

--

Maybe we could go for a walk sometime
Oh maybe sometime when the sunshine's back
You could hold my hand and I will
Oh I'll just have a heart attack

Cuz "maybe" might as well mean "no" for me
But I got a one percent chance
So I guess I'll wait and see

--

Write write write write Iolyn was doing a pretty good job avoiding suspicious looks since his parents were at work and Phoebe was always gallivanting with Micah.

Gallivanting. Now there was a Virgil word if he ever heard one.

Ohhh

I'll be your Facebook stalker

I'll like all your updates on the News Feed

Ohhh

I'll be your Facebook stalker

I'll be the only friend you'll ever need

"Don't hug her! SHE'LL KILL YOU!"

Never did finish that song.

--

A whole page of word doodling!

It's cold.

It's really, really cold.

The radio's playing All I Want for Christmas is You, one of the few Christmas love songs I can tolerate.

…and even though nothing was there (that he could see), he couldn't help but think that this place was magic. And it was waiting. For what?

--

Going for a Walk

Ten Things I Saw

1) Trees

2) Houses

3) Stop sign

4) Cars

5) Dog (Daisy)

6) Telephone poles

7) Road

8) Sidewalk

9) Fruit

10) Church

Five Sounds I Heard

1) Birds

2) Music

3) Traffic

4) Footsteps

5) Barking

Three Feelings

1) Content

2) Lonely

3) Strong desire to sing

Question: Why do I keep listening to these songs?