Names have been changed to protect the amusing. ;) Except mine, since it's kind of on my profile already...

Tales of Qzie's Camera


"Turn the camera off, you dork."- Tucker


Wrath of God- Junior year

(Tawny and Arnold are talking)

(Tawny notices Carissa filming)

Tawny (pointing at camera): What are you doing?! Are you film- (starts to get up out of chair and Carissa bolts away)

Carissa (very scared): Hi Tawny…

Tawny: You know what? You're officially not my friend anymore. (Hides face behind paper, which Arnold tries to take)

Carissa: Oh, but we are!

Arnold (to Sasha): Hey Sasha, why would you kick me?

(Lots of noise)

Carissa: I need new batteries again?! Oh wait, I can plug it into the computer!

Arnold (looking at Sasha, who keeps kicking him): Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!

Sasha: Sometimes you incure the wrath of God in me and I just want to smite you. Sometimes I just want to rip your insides out and pour sulfuric acid into your organs and just watch your organs melt and disintegrate until there is nothing left!

--Yes, I am aware that I'm a complete dork and that "incure" is not a word--

Arnold Hates People

Arnold: Hey, you know what I want? I'm gonna move to Florida!

Tawny: Oh, thank God.

Arnold: Know why I'm moving to Florida?

Tawny: Why?

Arnold: I'm gonna make- I'm gonna make people so mad that they'll come to my house and threaten me and I can shoot 'em and kill 'em, legally!

Tawny: Really?

Arnold: Yeah.

Tawny: You know, I got this all on tape…

Arnold (ignoring Tawny): If they're on your property and they threaten your life, you can kill 'em.

Carissa (in background): Wow.

(Arnold nods)

Tawny: Oh my gosh.

Arnold: I'm gonna kill people everyday.

Tawny: The house of the moron.

Arnold: Huh?

Tawny: The house of the moron.

Arnold (frowns): What're you talking 'bout?

Tawny: That's stupid, why would you do that?


Arnold: Cuz I don't like people. Kill 'em.


As Tawny's Desk Falls (when we were trying to get Tawny and Arnold together; Arnold wasn't supposed to talk for an extra credit assignment)

Clip one:

Tawny's talking to someone, Arnold's watching her, and after a moment, he flips her desk up and scares her.

Clip two:

Emmet writing: I think you should go out with Arnold because it seems like you and him are hitting it off.

Emmet (turns camera to face him): I'm about to be hit. (Gives note to Tawny)

Tawny (glaring at Emmet, doesn't look amused at all): I hate you.

Polly: What's this?

Clip three:

(Arnold pulls out a pen and writes on the talk-paper): I hope NOT! It's too soon!

(In background)

Emmet: You don't need to deny it. (Something about being a good couple)

Polly: They do.

Emmet: See, it's sort of a hate-love relationship.

Clip four:

(Tawny frowns at camera)

Polly: It's gonna work out, Tawny.

(Tawny stares at Polly and Emmet in shock)

Polly: Trust me.

Tawny: This is not an arranged marriage, people!


Emmet: No, we're not even saying marriage…

Arnold writes: Perfection! In Vegas!

Clip five: (keep in mind that Arnold isn't supposed to be talking, and he's messed up twice already)

(Arnold and Tawny are playing "tug of war" with Tawny's headphone cord and Tawny pulls it hard)

Arnold: You're gonna break the cord.

(Tawny laughs at him because Jake isn't supposed to be talking. Arnold realizes what he's done and snaps his fingers, looking frustrated. We laugh at him)

Polly: Three times! Three times!

(Tawny and Polly high-five)

(Indistinct talking)

Tawny (turning back to Arnold): Three- (Arnold grabs her wrist) Aagh! (Tawny hits Arnold's arm and tries to make him let go)

Carissa (in background): Awww.

Polly: They're holding hands.

(Tawny's pushing Arnold's arm away, then they let go)

Carissa: I know, I was just about to say that, but…

Polly: I read your mind?

Carissa: Yeah…

(Tawny and Arnold are examining their arms, and Arnold checks out his forearm, then he holds up three fingers. Tawny's still checking her hand and Arnold moves next to her, showing her his arm. Tawny looks at him, confused. Arnold pulls away and there's a pause with Tawny examining her hand and Arnold staring at her. Arnold starts wiggling his fingers near Tawny's head and then punches his palm twice. Tawny stares at him like he's incredibly weird, which he is)


I'm Eating Lucky Charms!- at Carissa's house

(Doodle's eating Lucky Charms and just as she's taking a bite, she notices Carissa filming, laughs in shock, drops the spoon, and backs away, covering her mouth while Carissa's laughing)

Doodle: You're not recording!

Carissa (still laughing): Oh, but I am…

Doodle: Carissa, I'm eating Lucky Charms! (She runs down the hallway)



Obstacle course- Carissa filming

(We see Kenji jumping over the first barriers)

Annemarie (in background): Watch out, Carissa!

(Kenji jumps through the next barrier, and we see a flash of blue and yellow)

Carissa: Wooah! (More flashes of blue, green, and yellow) Aaagh! Aagh, I'm sinking! (More flashes of color, Carissa freaking out) Heelp! AAGH! Take the camera! Take it, Annemarie!

--I almost died--

The Onion Breath Story- (Doodle's talking about her boyfriend)

Carissa: Here's Doodleheimer.

Doodle: Is it recording?

Carissa: Yeah.

Doodle: Why?

Carissa: Cuz I wanna get rid of the boring footage and you amuse me.

(Doodle starts laughing)

Carissa: Story, Doodle!

Doodle: But I'm not very amusing right now.

Carissa: Tell us a story!

Doodle: Oh my gosh. (Laughs) OK, I had to go get- he wanted me to go get something out of the car for him, aaaand I didn't wanna do it because it was rainy and wet outside and I was comfortable because we were watching a movie. And he had just finished eating his salad full of onions, so he pinned me down and blew in my face his nasty onion breath until I agreed to go get his lighter out of his car. And then, when I came back, he tried to kiss me, like he thought his onion breath would just go away or something.

Carissa: Oh wow.

Doodle: So that's the Onion Breath story.

--We seriously call her Doodleheimer, or Doodle--

Keebler Cracker Theatre- in the cafeteria

Doodle: There's crackers over there. (Pointing to some stranded crackers) D'you want some crackers?

(We laugh and it zooms into the crackers)

Doodle: So are you focusing on the crackers?

Carissa: Uh-huh!

(Doodle takes the crackers, laughter, and she dances them in front of the camera)

Doodle: I'm Keebler the Elf! And I stopped making cookies so I could make crackers for you! Tehehehehehehe! What you really don't know is I'm actually Legolas' second cousin!


Carissa: What?

Doodle: I am! I'm his second cousin!


Carissa: Prove it!

Doodle (looks at crackers and makes them "walk" on the table): I'm not leaving any footprints!

Carissa: Is there a shadow and a threat growing in your mind?

Doodle: Yes. Those Krispie people are after us; they've been looking for our fort forever! I'm gonna have to take Crackle out… Snap and Pop are nothing without him!

More chapters as I get more entertaining footage. :)

Have some Keebler cookies. :D