Crystal Glass Sword

Crystal Glass Sword

April 5, 2008

This pain that I feel…

It's where my heart should be.

I've given my heart to you…I trust that you'll keep it safe.

I know I am yours…

And you know that you're mine.

But…what do I feel that hurts so much?

Is this all your pain?

Pain that you've locked down so deep inside that you'll only let me see it?

You once said, "I only want you to be happy."

What if I can never be truly happy?

With myself?

With others?

With the world?

With…

All I do is spin around…

Will it ever stop?

Will it ever end?

Is this all for nothing that I live for?

Do I have a future?

And…why am I not scared…

Nothing to me makes sense anymore…

All I want is to find peace with everything.

And yet, I can't find it no matter how hard I look.

Maybe I'm not really looking at all.

Maybe I'm just scanning and seeing what I can.

Maybe that's why I'm not so scared…

Because I don't understand any of it.

Is this where that pain is coming from?

Will it end?

For you or for me?

I only wish to understand now…and for ever.

Or maybe…I truly wish…to be understood…