The Lillian Poem:

The fact that this place is hell, even now among your comrades
sheltered in some of their minds while being put down in others
nobody should be condemned to walk this earth alone
if no man is an island
what are you? a woman yes that much is obvious
but still so cruelly isolated from those you called friends
cut off from that group that you yearn to belong to
so there you sit
shunned by some
and accepted by others
others who until a few weeks ago didn't even know you
while munching on a sandwich
you ponder if what they told you was true
the truth can hurt most times it can destroy people
will you believe them or what you see?
Isn't that the question behind all faith
what they are feeding you is a big fat lie
take me to your former leader, I have some business to attend to
no one should be forced to walk this earth alone
willingly or not


The Mirror was cracked where the unsatisfied teenager put her fist through it

Rhythmically pounding out a beat a mantra of sorts

To shut out the cold and bitter lies of the outside world

No matter how hard she pounds this stranger's face

She feels no release, no inner happiness from doing so

The only blood to appear on that visage is the blood trickling from her hand

Impaled by bits of glass, her hand will bear battle scars from this encounter with the stranger in the mirror

Cruelly continuing the beating of the stranger who makes no sound

No acknowledgement of the beating she has received

Pounding the mirror until every last pent up emotion has been released the girl falls to a heap on the floor

Sobbing and wondering what possessed her to ruin a mirror

What self hatred could she be harboring?

She rises like a phoenix from ashes and continues to pound the familiar stranger

This time the face cries

The mirror now represents the shattered fragments of the girl's life

Broken, shattered and sobbing, just like her.

The mirror was cracked

The Music:

The music drew me in

The slow rhythm-less chant in a language that sounds somewhat familiar but is deliciously strange

Flavored with Japanese accents Latin sounds exotic

Wrapping you up into a time warped world

With a church bell the song begins

Where only the next phrase matters

In an almost trance like state the chant continues

Leaving you marveling at the its beautiful simplicity

No synthizers or instruments of any type save the voice

The beautiful voice that transports us back to a monastery in the middle ages

The song ends leaving me pressing replay until I break the button, and even then I still want to hear more of it.

A Loveless love life

I told myself that it's wrong,

Nothing good can come of this, it isn't right

You rejected me and I agreed that relationships aren't my thing

Then something funny happened

You were always on my mind

And I might be falling for you but I don't know if this is real or if it is an illusion created by my want for love

Whether it be real, or false it is love and my soul cries out for it like a babe for milk

My helplessness should not be abused

This is wrong but I'm addicted to your presence

I know that you will hurt me like you hurt me last time but I can't stop

You are my drug, my reason for living

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