Dedicated to my bestestest friend. She knows who she is. Wink, wink. Wilson smile (She knows what I'm talking about.).
Without a bright mirror, a woman cannot tell if the powder is smooth on her face; without a true friend the intelligent man cannot tell when he's made a mistake. Just a little Chinese proverbial wisdom.
You should be grateful you have friends.
It's funny how I should remember that now. It just popped out of the blue. It was sort of like finding an old toy in the closet of your mind, some really awesome toy that you thought you'd thrown away. But now you have it back and it's just screaming at you to use it, play with it like you used to. Oh, how wonderful that toy was...still is.
I couldn't even believe I had forgotten that. That one little sentence had been my first ever true life lesson. That one little sentence had been the most important thing I had ever learned. That one little sentence had been the most valuable thing in my mind. That one little sentence. And I forgot all about it.
I felt ashamed of myself.
Isn't it funny how you think you know someone? And then they say things to make you feel as if you'd never known them at all. Everyone changes, people become strangers, strangers suddenly become people. You drop something, you pick something up.
You win some, you lose some, as the saying goes.
When I was young, I felt friendship was synonymous of forever. Maybe everyone has felt that in one point in their lives. I mean, wasn't the phrase 'best friends forever'? Friendship. Forever. The words seemed like they should go hand in hand. Shouldn't they?
Anyway, I guess I got over that type of thinking quickly. When I was little, I hopped from person to person, from group to group, person to stranger. I learned early on how things aren't forever. Why do we have words like forever? We may think they mean something deep and profound, but in the end--they're just words. And words are just that. Simple and to the point. Words.
I met my first true friend in sixth grade, later than everyone around me. I remember feeling a sense of jealousy and envy at that. How did they all get best friends, just like that? How could they always be together? But then I met my best friend and realized: that doesn't really matter. Who cares if friends aren't there in ten years? What's important is that they're there for the time being. Shouldn't you make the most of them while they're still there? Yes, I guess you should.
What's wrong? Have I done something to make you mad at me? Tell me.
My best friend said something like that, that one day on the swing set so long ago. I still can't believe how this just popped in my head after all this time. It's amazing the things you remember, especially at times you need them the most.
I don't know why. You've just been annoying to me lately.
It was a harsh thing to say, even for a sixth grader. I remember looking at my feet, scuffing them in the mulch. I knew I didn't want to look at her. I was her best friend, I didn't want to hurt her. But I had. And what kind of world is it when best friends go around hurting each other? Not a good one, I imagine.
It's just that, up until the sixth grade, I had never had a true best friend. I wasn't used to it, having someone by my side, someone I could talk and share my thoughts with. I was used to being alone, and I hated it. But I had liked it at the same time. So I ignored her, tried distancing myself. I've done that an awful lot, not just to her, but others as well. People got too close sometimes. I didn't want them to. But then I did. I was a contradictory young girl; I still am. Just make them back further away, I told myself unconsciously. Make them near you, but not near enough. I was good at holding people away by an arm's length.
You should be grateful that you have friends.
She had said that. I could hear the anger and hurt in her voice before she walked away. I felt like trash. Worse, like mold on trash. And I deserved it.
But we got over that, as young kids do. I don't remember how, but we did. We stayed best friends, even when life separated us and then it brought us back together. The memory was pushed to the outer reaches of my mind. Until now. I think it's safe to say that that won't be a lesson I'll be forgetting any time soon. How could I? When your best friend tells you something, you remember it, no mater what. They usually have the most important things to say.
You should be grateful you have friends.
I am grateful that I have you.
Authoress's Notes: Yeah, just some thing I was writing last night when I was bored and couldn't get to sleep. I probably should've been reading my English book but...The Grapes of Wrath is so boring! Anywhoozles, as I've said before, this is dedicated to my best friend. This is actually a true story, even if she might not remember it. It happened back in sixth grade, just as in the story, which was a long, long, LONG time ago.
For WEiF lovers, I'm currently working on ch. 9. But I have school work and other stuff to write and friends to hang out with, so it might take awhile. I'm one third done with it and was planning on finishing it to update this week but that might not happen. Until then, wait patiently, and please keep your pitchforks on hold. I mean, if I die, who'll write it? Hehehehe...please don't hurt me.
On that last note, a message to my bestestestest friend:
Wilson says hi. Smile.