My heart pounding into my ribs,
I slowly copy the number and lay down my pen.
Holding the quivering paper in my shaking hand,
I have to ask myself one thing.
Will you be there?
You never have before,
And I suppose that only hope gives life to my ridiculous dream.
That perhaps, just perhaps,
One day you will somehow hear my silent cry.
I awkwardly punch the numbers into the phone.
Raising it to my ear, I silently hope that I will hear your voice.
The rings torture me as they slowly echo in my ear,
But I still have to keep going…
My breath hitches as the receiver clicks,
And I can barely feel anything but the quivering of my knees.
But the voice that answers…
It isn't yours.
Will it ever be?
Will you ever hear me?
Will you ever answer me?
Will you never be there?
Murmuring an barely audible excuse,
I lay down the phone and in my trembling hand.
Leaning back against the table, I can only close my eyes
And shake my head at my own childishness.
Of course it wasn't you.
It never will be.
The pounding in my heart and the quivering of my knees…
They will not stop until I hear your voice again.
So, I suppose, they will never stop.
Please, if you can somehow know what I feel.
Let me hear your voice.