escaping the city
for the love of my life (where are you?)

it's obscenely early in the morning and your car is parked on top of a hill, on the grass verge next to the road, a prelude to the steep cliff on the other side. you lie on the car bonnet and count the stars twinkling in the sky, while the boy you think you love murmurs poems in your ear, tickling your skin. you shiver but it's not cold. he brings his hand up next to yours, and from where you are it looks like you can cup the sky in your combined hands.

this is your escape. being awake in the hours when nobody else is, hoping for a special lull in time, where the crowded streets of the city and the drone of routine don't sound like someone calling your name. but there isn't time enough and when you drive back home you've got the tape mix playing in the car stereo, the windows down and the wind whipping your hair, the soft purr of the engine.

you smile at the boy in the passenger seat, he twitches his eyebrows in response and you chuckle, and he starts singing along to the songs playing, but it's a start-stop kind of singing. it was his turn, so this tape is his mix and he knows all the songs; some of them are unfamiliar to you but it doesn't really matter. he's there and this is something he's giving to you, and that is enough. you think about how lucky you are, to have him.

you listen to his voice singing assorted lines from the songs. you think he sings beautifully, the words he sings spun out of love and memories and adolescence. he sings

I'll be your hope I'll be your love be everything that you need, I look around but it's you I can't replace, I'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven, I just want to stay with you in this moment forever, I found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind, I said maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me.

it feels good knowing that he's singing them to you, and they are the soundtrack to the sunrise unfolding in front of your eyes. these are the moments you hope you will never forget.

the slow smile he gives you when you drop him off at his house feels like a kiss. the stereo plays on as you drive yourself home. when the speakers play the words love can touch us one time and it feels like a lifetime you sing along, because you know you're in love, and perhaps even a lifetime won't be enough.


song lyrics in order of appearance:
truly madly deeply/savage garden
every breath you take/sting & the police
heaven/bryan adams
i don't wanna miss a thing/aerosmith
collide/howie day
wonderwall/oasis
my heart will go on/celine dion

any comments are greatly appreciated.