It was an electrifying moment when Logan came into my life. One of those moments that you don't even know exists at first, but then you look back on it and think of it as a defining moment.
I had just been shoved out of love by the forces of nature that seemed so intent on keeping me unhappy. It wasn't until later that I realized….no, the forces of nature weren't intent on keeping me unhappy. They simply knew that someone else existed for me, someone I desperately needed to be with.
So, yes, meeting him had been worth the wait. I would have waited another hundred years if I had to, and that fact was one of the most magical I'd ever discovered. It was almost as magical as realizing that he loved me as much as I loved him.
I have always loved Kyle – don't get me wrong. There was a time when he was my life, a time when nothing and no one else existed. I think some little part of me will always be more than half in love with him – because he was the first, if for no other reason. But over time, that has fallen to the aching, distant, impossible love that one feels for what one can never have.
My love for Logan is different. It is passionate, deep, and very, very real. Each day, I begin to peel back another layer and see what surprises are in store. Every time he looks in my direction with that smile, so full of the happiness and energy that I've always wished I myself were capable of….I know he smiles just for me. And in those moments – which are every day increasing in number – I feel something new and unfamiliar stir in my soul.
In moments like that….I feel forgiven.