The insanities you never saw in the original have reared their ugly heads!!!

(Scene: Lewis has arrived at the Point Granite School for Tykes.)

"This is such a pulchur…" Lewis trails off, not knowing how to pronounce the word. "Pulchuris…pul…ah, fiddlesticks!"

"Cut!" Kino yells.

(Scene: Lewis has come up to Winston and asks him what George Brown is doing.)

With a smile, Winston replied, "George Brown isn't chewing food, Lewis; he's chewing gum."

"Gum?" Lewis asked, puzzled.

"Gum."

"Gum?"

"Gum."

"Gum?"

"Gum."

"Gum?"

"G—" Suddenly, Lillian runs over and punches Winston in the face and screams at the top of her lungs, "SILENCE!!!"

Lewis got uneasy near Lillian and ran off.

(Scene: Mr. Baker is leading Lewis and his classmates to the school bus.)

"Come on, boys and girls, over here!" Mr. Baker called out. Lewis and the children followed him to where a bus was parked. Sitting in the driver's seat was a portly man with a drink hat upon his cranium. He was slumped over and snoring loudly.

"Billie Bob?" Mr. Baker questioned him, nudging his shoulder. "Billie Bob? Oh, for the love of…WAKE UP!!!" Billie Bob wakes up and falls out of his seat. The children laughed at him.

(Scene: Lewis is talking Billie Bob out of his road rage)

"Now, please stop the bus Billie Bob, and I'll eagerly render something to you."

That got the portly bus driver, and, with tears in his eyes, gently brought the bus to a stop, causing everyone to sigh in relief. Lewis then opened the bus doors and exited it…

"HOLY COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!"

And went plummeting off the cliff Billie Bob stopped near.

Billie Bob sniffled. "He is the sweetest boy ever," he said. Mr. Baker and the children murmured in agreement.

(Scene: The kids have arrived at Willie's Wonder World.)

"Mr. Baker?" Lillian asked the substitute, who was taking a box of cigarettes from Billie Bob.

"What is it, little girl?" Mr. Baker asked, slightly irritated.

"I love you so much. I want to marry you."

Everyone stared at her. Mr. Baker was surprised by her comment.

"…You're crazy, little girl."

(Scene: This was while they were at Willie's Wonder World, before George and Lewis got kidnapped.)

Winston and Angelica approached a clown. The clown smiled at them and juggled balls. Then, he gave Angelica a flower. She and Winston smile back at him before walking away.

Lewis is the next person to see the clown. The clown tells him a knock-knock joke. Lewis laughs and offers the clown some popcorn.

The third person to see the clown is Mr. Baker. The clown shows him a balloon. Mr. Baker suddenly screams, grabs the balloon, and pops it.

"Have you know shame?!" Mr. Baker roars at him. "You know that we loathe balloons with a passion!" Before the clown could try to defend himself, Mr. Baker socked him in the face as hard as he could.

(Scene: Mr. Baker and the kids have snuck onto the motor home and are ready to go after Lewis and George.)

Mr. Baker slammed his foot onto the accelerator and sped out of the parking lot.

The students cried out, "Whoa!" as they were suddenly flung backwards. "This is cool!" Johnny shouted.

CRASH!

The children's jaws dropped when they saw that their vehicle had crashed into a wall that appeared out of nowhere. Just then, Chuck and his family showed up. In case if you forgot, they were the ones who owned the motor home.

"Oh my f(bleep)king God, WHAT THE F(bleep)K DID YOU DO?!?!?" Chuck screamed.

"In the words of my father, we're screwed," Johnny mumbled.

(Scene: Frances has just grabbed Ms. Ellis's makeup kit and flung it out the window.)

"I told you not to put on any makeup in the bus because it'll stain the carpet, b(bleep)h!" Frances Anderson yells at her.

Ms. Ellis is offended. "You dare get rid of my makeup kit and call me a b(bleep)h? YOU MUST DIE!!!" Ms. Ellis karate kicks Frances in the chest, knocking her over. Frances was quick to get up and punch Lewis's preschool teacher in the face. Ms. Ellis retorts by punching her back. In less than a second, it transforms into a fight to the death.

Mrs. Conway, the mother of Winston, looks over at Peter. "Does this happen?" she asks him.

Peter shrugs. "Only if you make my mom mad," he rejoins. Mrs. Conway shrugs herself and pretends not to notice the fight.

(Scene: Lewis is leading the students and parents out of the Big L Motel and towards Mr. Baker/Tuscon'aka.)

"Now, where is this Tuscon'aka, Lewis?" Ms. Ellis asks him as she jogs with her green stilettos on.

"He's with Angelica and Connor and George," Lewis replies. Suddenly, Ms. Ellis gasps and stops. So do the rest of the students and the parents. Lewis becomes puzzled. He looks ahead to see that George, Angelica, and Connor are eating bugs.

The children look up at them. "What?" Angelica inquired. "All this guarding is making us hungry."

"You should try some!" Connor exclaimed, holding up a half-eaten beetle. Mrs. Conway barfed on the ground.

"Where's Tuscon'aka?" Lewis wondered. Off to the side, Mr. Baker/Tuscon'aka was getting the crap beaten out of him by Principal Johnson and Lenny. No one, not even the genius Lewis, was aware of this.

(Scene: The kids have mysteriously gotten on a giant eagle and are flying back towards Point Granite. Lewis's mother and sisters as well as Ms. Ellis, Billie Bob, and the rest of the students' parents.)

Everyone watched them fly. They heard singing.

"…Okay, how're we gonna get back?" Anthony said aloud.

"I dunno!" Melissa replied. "I'm not Einstein!"

Ms. Ellis and Billie Bob weren't really paying attention to what was going on now; they are currently making out with each other.

Frances looked towards the chauffeur, Ken. "Any ideas?" she inquired.

Ken was silent for a minute. He finally declared, "We dance!" Everyone cheered before boogieing down to "Thriller."