Why'd you have to leave? I'm lost now that you're gone.

I can't think straight, I can't concentrate, at all. I think I'm losing my mind.

Slowly, little by little, I'm drifting into a dream world. It's like I'm here, but not really.

I stare blankly at the TV or computer screen just thinking of you. Or more like fantasizing about you.

I know it's for the best that I didn't tell you anything. But now I'm regretting holding back my feelings.

You used to say, "All secrets will be revealed." Or some shit like that.

If that's so true then wouldn't you have known how I felt already?

It's not like it was a huge secret. I made it obvious that I thought of you as more that just my best friend.

I told you that I loved you time and time again. You never believed me. Or you never wanted to.

Telling me that shit about how people always say they care about you but really they don't.

Saying that all they are doing is trying to make you feel less worthless.

You had your bad days, when you were the biggest asshole I'd ever met. But I dealt with it.

Shouldn't that prove how much I care about you?

I put up with your bullshit day in and day out.

I defended you against people when talked shit about you.

I was the one to tell them to back the fuck off and leave you alone, to keep you out of trouble.

And how do you repay me? You rip my fucking heart out!

I probably seem very a little bitchy and unfair.

How would you know that I loved you? I never said anything.

But I was scared to tell you. I needed a friend more than a fuck buddy.

Now I'm sitting here, reminiscing. And it's tearing me apart.

I should have told you, for the sake of my own sanity.

But I didn't and it's too late. You're already gone.

One day, you're going to realize how much I cared about you. I'll be waiting.

But in the mean time: "I love you." Don't say I never told you so.