I'm taking a holiday
Going to join the parade
Though I don't much like this place
Its loneliness seeps into my bones
And erupts
Bruising my membrane with memories
A little bit sickening
Like when you're nauseous and there's nothing they can do about it
Deal with it
They say
Don't even try to pray
Nobody's listening anyway

So I try and tie the ribbons they were giving out
Around my hair
Or wrists or fists
To keep the peace inside of me
Because my nails are slightly biting
And I'm fighting my inner conflict
Like a useless UN official
Trying to persuade my nuclear activity to remain dormant
Be a doormat
(but that's just my inner teenage angst talking)

And so suddenly it's raining
And I'm faking umbrella thoughts
Like trying to catch a waterfall with gaping holes in my fingers
So the humidity lingers against my skin
And my fevers burning but the wet still sticks
And my exterior is more than pinpricked
I'm being bombed to the nth degree
But nobody can really save me
They're too busy with their own things

My tongue is thick
But my thoughts aren't as quick as they used to be
So it's ok if I can't speak

Anyway
I'm taking a holiday
Maybe I'll stay in a motel
Full of people I don't know
And lay down on the dirty blue carpets
Soaking up the disturbing images that flowed off the walls and pooled
It's not love

No it's not love
But who am I to judge
The thrusts of two strangers
The trusts of small children
In backwards caresses and broken arms
What's the harm
Really

But I'll have to get up eventually
And pay the check
To go back home
Pretending that being alone is better