Dear Baby,
Hi, wow, somehow "hi" doesn't seem like enough; it seems so informal…but you have to understand, never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I'd ever be writing something like this… At this time, I've only known you for a little over eight months and while I fear we'll never meet face to face, I am more thankful than you could imagine for the time we've spent together. I want you to know that I've really enjoyed being with you, and that no matter what happens, you are loved.
As you know, or will know by the time you get this letter ( in about eighteen years or so), I'm expected to die in about thirty days before I give birth to you. There is only a 1:3 chance of my survival, and according to the doctors, and an even better chance if I were to terminate the pregnancy. The doctors have told me time and time again about this, but that chance is not worth loosing you. They say that my body isn't "strong enough" to give birth and survive whatever it is that's making me so weak too. When this news was given to me, many months ago, your father begged me to consider an abortion, and I did. These thoughts didn't last long because the more time I spent with you, the more I grew to love you and realize that I could never do anything to hurt you. Despite this, even now, your father is still angry about all of this; not that he's angry with you, but angry at the fact that he is powerless in this situation and that no matter what happens, he will be loosing one of us. Though he says he's okay, I can see in his eyes how he really feels, and though I know that he doesn't like my decision, I know that he does respect it. I hope that you will hold no hostility towards either of us because of our thoughts and considerations, but this ordeal is difficult because of our love for you, and for each other. Your father loves both of us very much and that is why this is so hard for him.
Like I said, there is only a 1:3 chance of me surviving and even though these odds are not in my favor, I'm trying my best and having the doctors do there best keep me alive. Personally, I've had a long time to come to terms with what's expected to happen to me, and though I am upset, I do not fear death. The thought of dying, though somewhat overwhelming, is nothing, and I do mean nothing, compared to knowing that I will never be able to see, hold, feed, or be with you, my baby. Even if I do make it, and I do live for another eighteen years or so, I want you to have this letter, to let you know just how much I do love you. What happens in the next thirty days or so is in God's hands, and if it's his will that I don't make it, then I'll be in heaven looking down on you, my baby. No words could ever express the love that I have and will continue to have for you, in life, and in death. The next thirty days are so precious to me; I'm thankful that I've had this time to spend with you. I love you baby.
To my unborn child
I love you baby,
--Mommy