Many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a young boy who-
Oh fuck it. This is the story of how I, Robin Goodfellow, became Puck, the most insolent cur around.
It was ten years ago. A lifetime in a mere mortal's eyes, barely a day in mine. I look the same as I had done at the age of ten-and-six years, but time has not aged Oberon well. His once smooth features are lined prematurely from the countless arguments with his queen – a fiery beauty. They fight over a changeling boy, and the arguments are so distracting that Oberon no longer troubles me over my appearance; instead, I am sent on pointless escapades around the world. Occasionally I sneak away to the Human Realms to cause mischief and I am reminded of your missing presence, always looking over my shoulder in the past. I miss your lopsided smile; I miss your dishevelled hair. I miss you. I miss you, Mustardseed.
Sometimes our master and mistress fight, and you are always on the opposite side, staring back at me. For some time, I think you remember, but then you look away. You do not care that I am here with a cruel smile, nor that I am poking fun at your court's expense. It is always me who comes out on the losing side; I am a broken sixteen-year-old boy once again, crying at your feet. Do not meet my eyes, for I fear that I will cause you pain once again.
It wasn't my fault, but that doesn't matter. If you want someone to blame, I am here, I am waiting. Aim your weapon now, and knock me down until I can breathe no more. I have already been poisoned, my heart no longer beats as my own, my breast throbs from the pain of loss. The gift of immortality is my curse.
Sometimes I'm angry for what I've lost and I'm screaming, I'm crying, I'm shouting, I'm punching things, hitting out at the walls until Oberon forces me back into submission. I am reminded of that last time, that goodbye to you my one-time lover, the time that we fucked almost desperately and I left you as soon as I woke up only to return, screaming and crying. I miss you; I miss the sharp points of your hips against mine, the taut skin too taut, but you'd never admit that, how hard it was to unpin your clothes from your frame. You always laughed at that and I'd do anything right now to hear that sweet feminine giggle right now, because my own is nothing in comparison.
I have a knot on my head from that time that Oberon and Titania found out what we doing and he raised his hand to strike you after he'd smacked me smartly across the face. I took your blow, but I also took his deal to leave you before he hurt you. But I hurt you too for that, and sometimes I wonder if I was being selfish or selfless, keeping you away. I'd never had to let anyone in before. That was when you changed your name to Mustardseed. Titania had always wanted you to have a fairy-like name. I miss your old name. I miss you, Phineas.
We looked good together, I'm certain we did. You with your dark brown hair always so dull, you complained, me with my blue hair how did I get the strange coloured hair? No one knew that we'd grown up together, that I knew every angle of your body, the way you gasp when I kiss the skin on your neck. I wonder, does anyone else know the way you inhale when I used to grab the skin over your hips so hard I'd leave bruises, you'd complain and I'd laugh? It is not a question, though, as I know that another boy with a sweet smile will have filled my place. I imagine that he will make you laugh for all the times that I have made you cry, that he holds you for time longer than I did. I remain true to your memory; however, I do not deserve the right to betray the trust that you once had in me.
Ten years of wanting, of missing, of longing. I'm sure that you couldn't wait. Fairies have never been known for their patience.
Do you miss me?
A selfish part of me wants you to suffer too, wants you to hold on to the 'us' that there was, that we spoke silently. The good part of me growing smaller every day, my loneliness is making me twisted and conceited wants you to stop hurting, wants you to forget everything.
You are standing opposite next to me right now and you are silent; I realise that you are not planning to say anything. I realise that I cannot say any of these thoughts inside my head. Why are you here, anyway? You will break me oh, how I want you to snap me into little pieces again. The conceited part of me is making it's presence felt once again, I want you to stop teasing me with the breath that you exhale over my lips, want you to press me harder into the wall. I want you so bad.
I am standing here now on the stage with nothing left to give. We are merely actors in this onetime play, our script lost.
Where do we go from here, Phineas? Kiss me, fuck me, hold me, I don't care, just let me be close to you, let me breathe your tobacco scent. I would die just to have that taste in my mouth again.
Break me down here, right now, in front of our empty hall, our ghost of an audience. I have a name, a real name, I beg you to call me it.
"Don't talk, Seb. It doesn't suit you."
Oh God, do that again, please, I could cry from the impact of your lips upon mine. Please, now, I want this so much.
You are angry, but I would have died for that tobacco scent that you are so freely giving to me now. I want it all. I want you.
I've wanted you for so long.
A/N: First one-shot up! Right. This was originally supposed to be a kind of Midsummer's Night's Dream fanfiction, but it kind of developed...I thought, "Well, what if they're ACTING as Puck and Mustardseed? Would they still have the same feelings?"
That's why it's a little crazy in places. And before anyone whines and says Mustardseed is a girl, I'm basing this on a production that I went and saw at the Globe with my English class.