three years


She spent three years living inside of her own mind, alternating between clawing at the walls and throwing up all the words that she couldn't say. Never felt safe a day in her life, even when she could feel her bones poking through her skin. Just a couple more pounds. Always almost there.

I used to be her very best friend. Ana and Mia quickly usurped my place in her world.

I spent three years watching my best friend destroy herself.

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You took the diet pills, and didn't eat for weeks. When you did eat, it was only to throw us off, keep us happy. Spent those times praying to the porcelain goddess.

I miss you because it feels like you're already gone.

You never cared about what the doctors said, just the twisted idea of perfection you had locked up inside yourself. The Ultimate Goal. Be skinny. Die trying.

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I feel the empty spaces all around me, places where she is simply... not.

I wanna light myself on fire, just to feel the burn. To feel something other than this persistent, gnawing, grief-stricken sense of dread.

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Your absence is eating at me like a cancer.