No new text messages. Figures. My parents get a divorce and I have to move to the other side of this bum-fuck town with my mom and my sister, and no one sends me anything. No hugs, no kisses, no love and certainley no wishes of good luck. But then again, I live in a world where image is everything, a world I haven't fit into since probably even before 5th grade. Because when it comes to image, I know I'm a freak. I'm way too skinny to be normal, expecially for a boy my age. I'm too tall, gigantically tall, 6 feet tall, with awkward, messy blonde hair, blue-grey eyes and thin wire framed glasses. The biggest compliment I've ever recieved was that I'm pretty. Because that's definitely what a 15 year old boy wants to hear. That he's pretty. At worst, I've been mistaken for a girl. I'm often called by my sister's name, Delilah, but my name, Devon, is just about as androgynous as I am.
Besides the fact that I have zero fashion sense. I wouldn't know what was cool or not cool if it hit me in the face. I find myself constantly wearing baggy clothes to hide my scrawny figure and eating about 5 protein bars a day, to try and 'bulk up'. At least, that's what my dad used to call it. Then again, he's really no good judge of character. The protein bars don't help, but why should they? I was born the way I am, the way my old neighbor said that Jesus made me. Of course, I never told her that religion was just created as a way to get lots of people really rich. Oh, yeah, like feudal preists really thought they could get people into heaven. Like, seriously, it was like, 'Hey! If you give me this much money, you might go to heaven. But if you give me this much, you definitely will'. Puh-lease.
But seriously. You'd think I'd at least get one text-message from someone. But no. As I sat in my mom's car and looked at my shitty square phone that Delilah painted with blue sparkly nailpolish, everyone else, on the other side of the town, was out, actually enjoying their last day of summer vacation. Because after this, it was going to be big time. I was going to be an honest to god sophomore. Just the word made my toes tingle.
"Devon!" screeched Delilah as she ran up to the car. The girl counterpart of me, we couldn't look more alike but be more different.
"What do you want, douchebag?" I called back, not even bothering to look back up.
"Hmm...for you to maybe pick up your effin' stuff and take it to your new room. But, I don't know, that's just a thought." she replied back sarcastically and I slammed my phone shut and glared at her.
"I believe...that I will do that." I said back and Delilah flashed me a confused and annoyed look.
"You're so friggen weird, you know that, right?" she asked and walked off. I rolled my eyes, got out of the car and looked at my black suitcases for a second. I picked them up with a look of disdain, plastered on my face, and brought them to my new room. Lame! My new room. What had been wrong with my old room, my old house? Nothing, that was what. My mom was just being ridiculous.
My old room was perfect. It had been dark green, with my dark furniture and brown shag carpet. It had been pretty empty, I didn't really know much about music besides what was on the radio, but it had been my...sanctuary, almost. I had loved it. Now, here I was, in a large white room. I stared at the white walls and sighed. This...sucked. I mean, at least we weren't moving to a different town or anything, but still, I didn't really even know how this new room worked. For instance, I knew that if you went into the closet of my old room, there was a door at the back that led to a tiny holding place...in the roof! It was fun, and I had always used to play hide-and-seek there. But now...where would I do that? No where, that was where. Because the little tiny room didn't exist in this house. Nope. It existed in my dad's house now.
Because my mom couldn't have just taken the house either. No, of course not. She had to take everything else, even the furniture in our old house, but let my dad keep it. Why? Because she felt 'badly' for my dad...badly! The thought was so amusing, I had laughed for about ten minutes before I had composed myself. I mean, seriously, that makes so much sense, um, not. 'Oh kids, your father, even though he was an abusive, drug-dealing asshole was just a simpleton at heart, and no matter what I do, I can't bear to take the house away from him...so we're going to move to the other side of the town, and let your father stay.' Now, she didn't exactly say that, not those exact words but, basically.
And you know what? The second everything was finalized, my dad sold the house! He even decided to pull a Jack Kerouac and take a road trip around the country! We haven't seen or heard from him in about a month. Gee, my mom was smart to give him the house, when he was just going to sell it and make a killing on it because it was a friggen like, antique house. Whatever. I like her more than I like my dad, I have to give her that one. At least my mom doesn't get a kick out of calling me 'faggot'. I mean seriously, it's like, 'Shut the fuck up Robert, you of all people should know that I definitely didn't decide to be born like this'.
So I guess, in the end, I can see why my mom divorced him. I don't know why they got married in the first place. But still, I miss my old room.
There was an open window next to my old bed that had been finally moved in. I dumped my suitcases on my bed and sat on it, staring out the window. It was a long time before I registered that I had a perfect view of a bedroom in the house next door. The house was like...25 yards away and if I wanted to, I could lean out my window and yell to whomever lived in the room next to mine. Which I could tell was someone pretty young. Their white room was covered with band posters, but I was too far away to see the bands. I finally heard the music that was pulsing out of the room. It was rock music, and I smiled a little. I could imagine it now. She lives in that house and she looks at me everyday and she wishes she could talk to me, but she's too shy! And sometimes we see each other at school and we smile a little bit in the hallways because secretley know that we live right next to each other! And she's tall and got dark hair and wears smokey eye makeup and she has great fashion sense, and she'll make me into someone cool, someone that gets recognized at school.
Because, face it, I'm invisible. Besides the...six friends I have, I'm totally and completely invisible to the rest of my school. I'm brushed in the halls, never called on in class, of course, it's not like I ever raise my hand or anything, but still. Sometimes, I even get sat on. People just don't notice me! And I have to say...it kind of sucks. People who I've known my entire life don't even know my name...I'm pretty sure. The jocks in my grade, act like I don't exist, of course to them, they probably seriously don't think I do. I mean, it's not like I'd ever become athletic, that would mean actually getting into shape. And I figure that hey, I'm skinny, so I don't need to work out or anything. I mean, my dad obviously thinks differently, but hey, he's 'on the road'. Still, being invisible sucks!
And you know what's really weird about the whole 'my parents' thing? That for the entire time they were married, my mom never suspected my dad of being a drug dealer. Never! It was like, by accident that she caught him. And he said that he never did anything, he was just selling, but it wasn't like that actually changed my mom's opinion. I was pretty glad it didn't though, for my own reasons. She'd always turn a blind eye whenever he'd call me names or try to make me more manly, when I just wasn't. So, I was pretty happy when they decided to call it quits.
But yeah. I hope whomever lives in the room next to mine is hot.
"Devon. I'm making lunch." said my mom as she popped into my room. I looked back at her and perked up.
"What is it?" I asked and she smiled.
"Chicken noodle. Come down here." she said and I smiled back and left my room. Yeah, okay, my mom is an airhead, but I do have a lot more respect for her, now that she divorced my dad. I always just thought that she was pretty much a Stepford Wife. So, I was willing to do stuff that she wanted to, like eat Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup...even though that stuff probably had enough chemicals to feed an army. I sighed and walked downstairs, where the can was open on the bare stovetop and soup was heating up on the stove. Delilah was sitting on a chair at the counter and reading 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'. I never had actually read the book, but it was like, her favorite thing in the universe. "It'll be ready in like five minutes." my mom said and I groaned and wandered outside. The front door was still open and I sat on the steps, looking out before me.
"Hey." called a voice next to me and I wearily looked over to see the most striking individual I'd ever seen. They were tall and lithe, with dark hair and even smokey eye makeup. They had good fashion sense, with snug fitting jeans and a black teeshirt and one of the best pouts plastered I'd ever seen plastered on their face.
"Hi." I said to the boy who stood about ten feet away from me. He was giving me the pout and crossing his arms, as if I'd just stepped on his holy territory. I couldn't imagine why he'd be so angry with me, but I also couldn't deny that he did anger better than any boy I'd ever met.
"You new here too?" he asked and I flashed a smile.
"Not really. I moved from the other side of town." I spoke and he nodded.
"I'm new." he told me and I smirked.
"I figured." I replied and he stuffed his hands in his pockets and I realized he was probably kind of uncomfortable. Trying to make conversation, because he was new and he thought I was new too and so he thought we could be new together. I stood up and held out my hand to him. "I'm Devon." I said to him and he shook my hand tentativley, but still with a firm grip.
"Aidan." he told me and I gave him a little nod. We were still clasping our hands and I dropped it, feeling my hand relax instantly when he let go. He had a really firm grip.
"Aidan. Right. Cool." I said to him. "Well, Aidan, where you from?" I asked and he shrugged.
"Around." he said and I laughed.
"Specific." I said and Aidan rolled his bottom lip underneath his top one and flashed me a grin.
"Dev, lunch is re-" said Delilah from the steps, before she caught sight of Aidan. I could definitely see the blush that was forming on her face as she stepped down the stairs and came to my side. Aidan laughed when he saw us standing together.
"Twins." he said and I scrunched up my mouth.
"Not identical. I'm a boy." I assured him with a kind of annoyed look. Aidan laughed harder.
"I know." he said and I felt my face go hot. I looked at Delilah, embarrassed.
"This is our neighbor, Aidan. Aidan, this is Delilah, obviously my sister." I said, or more like mumbled. I had already embarrassed myself. They shook hands as well, and Aidan let her hand go quickly. I don't know why this was interesting, but it kind of was. I don't know.
"Anyway, Devon, lunch is ready." Delilah said and I nodded and looked back at Aidan.
"So, I'll see you around?" I asked and he nodded.
"I'm going to be a sophomore." he said and I smiled a little.
"Me too." I replied and he grinned and waved to me and I waved back and turned back with my sister, who was smiling like a madman.
"Oh my god, he's so hot!" she squealed when we got inside and I rolled my eyes.
"Is that all you care about?" I asked and she glared at me.
"No. I'm just saying." she told me and I didn't even answer as I took my cup of chicken noodle and wandered back upstairs. I figured I could now unpack in peace. With my chicken noodle soup, all alone. I could move all my clothes (which weren't much) from my suitcases back to my drawers. You know, we could have completely bypassed this if we had just stayed in our old house. I groaned as I took a sip of soup. The noodles were limp and hot, the broth burned the roof of my mouth. I knew it would start peeling very soon.
I sat down on my bed and considered my life now. I took another sip of the scalding soup, letting it burn down my throat. I looked at my scraggly self and at my long messy hair. I felt too old to be a child but not old enough to be a man. Even my hands were small and feminine. I wondered if I'd ever start looking like the man I knew I was supposed to be. Somehow I doubted it. No one was about to take me seriously. I hardly took myself seriously.
I looked over out the window again and saw Aidan in his room. He hadn't noticed me but he was taking off his shirt. This was the kind of thing that was supposed to happen- with a girl as my neighbor. Aidan walked in his room, half naked, and I couldn't help but stare.
He turned around and for the breifest second, our eyes met, before I lay back quickly and nervously on my bed, forgetting about my soup.
I found my self cursing as I lay on my bed, chicken and noodles spilled all over me. I put a hand over my eyes and sighed.
And that was the beginning of...everything.