this doesn't feel right,
the mistrust barely visible in your unreadable eyes.
and i feel awful for lying.
filthy, unworthy.
but i had to lie, had to.

because i'm so deathly afraid of losing you.
and you're not even mine to lose.

can i fix that that is severed
and unspoken, broken?
your anger affects me
in ways i do not understand,
ways i may never decipher.

there are fires in your eyes.
there are words waiting to be screamed.

you have changed me so much.
the way i see, breathe, think, feel.
you are my eyes. i'm blind when you're not around.
you are my lungs. without you i begin to choke.
you are my motivation. i see your rare smile in the grey of the winter sky, your eyes in the death of autumn.
you are my heart. before this, i was cold and indifferent.

you are my strange, unpredictable constant. and i'm your hopeless addict.