I want this summer to be about getting back to that time a couple summers back, when we were just a little younger, a little freer, a little more alive. Before we got lost in our own flaws, before we tied ourselves up into a hopeless jumble of confusion and self doubt. This summer needs to be about breaking free.
Freedom is so important to me but I'm still not sure what it is or how to get it. I'm working on it. I've realized you can hold yourself captive, how dangerous that can be. I don't want that for us.
I want for us to walk in the grass barefoot and climb tress and breathe fresh air. I need to get the fuck out of this city. I can't wait to get moving. I want to smell the ocean, I want to taste it. I want to sleep outside, under the stars. Maybe that will feel like freedom.
The closest I've had to freedom is the feeling of the air moving past me when I'm on a bike, and that thrilling sensation of moving somewhere, in time with the universe, not against it. Riding bikes is nice. Let's do that a lot this summer, okay?
I want to get back to the first time I rode a bike, how great that was. I want to get back to my first punk show, how much it excited me, how much it challenged me. But I don't want to move backwards, I want to move forwards. I just want to bring with me that since of doing something, going somewhere.
Remember that feeling that every day we were saving the world? Getting out of bed in the morning was an opportunity, not an obligation. We knew who we were, we knew what we wanted, and we would die trying to get it. What happened to that optimism? Sure, we still say they words, but I'm started to think we don't really mean them anymore. We need to get back to the time when the sky was really blue and the grass was really green and the earth was worth saving and we were the ones who could do it.
I need this summer to be the time when we act on those words we've said, when we narrow that gap between words and actions. Because I can't look in the mirror and see a hypocrite anymore. I need change. I need us to be who we always wanted to be.
But this summer, inevitably, it's going to be about death. How inconvenient.