For Best Taste Results
Lately I've been noticing labels that are on food. And yes, lately I've had no life. Anyways, just the other day I found a label, that's common on a lot of food. It read, "For best taste results: 5/26/10." I foresee a lot of problems with this statement. First off all, there's a lot of dimwits in this world of ours. Some might think, "Ok. I'll just save it until that date. It might not taste the best, but it'll still taste good." Um, no it won't. Not unless you like mold, fungi and assorted bugs. Hey, if you like the flavor, go for it. I personally prefer unspoiled food, but maybe that's just me.
Instead of this "For best taste results" label, here's what I propose for the new label. It will read, "You should eat this food before 5/26/10 or there will be live growing things in it, and if you eat you will be eating living things while they're still alive. That's just barbaric. Oh and you might die from disease."
See, it works.
Fun Project: If you're looking for something fun to do this summer, or in your life, here's a little project for you. Buy product that has the words. "For best taste results: 5/26/10 (dates may vary)". Then wait until 5/26/10 and eat the food. Then sue the company when you get sick. Guaranteed to make you big bucks, and maybe even a spot in the evening news. Oh and in court, put a good word in for my new label. Thanks.