She compares them to a set of planets.
(The one that is the brightest blinded her.)
He was too radiant to focus on anything
but his own beams of self worth.
She could unblinkingly stare at him for hours each morning
tears sliding down her pale, pitted cheeks
as he rose up
higher, and higher
To be forgotten
until he grew tired,
and called her forth into the sky
(it was only for a fleeting moment, after all)
so she could undress.
And he could look her over,
and run his hot hands
down her scarred, pockmarked body.
You are so ugly,
he told her, murmuring,
but I like it because
because you will never
because I will never
because you will never outshine me.
You will always be
large, pale and clumsy.
You will never move with my grace.
You will never nourish those beneath you,
and you will never be so beautiful
that you cannot be looked at.
You only come out at night,
and you stifle the growth of new things.
You are a stagnation
to the human race.
I am everything
You are everything I despise.
When he was finished
bringing her down as far as he dared,
before she fell from grace,
he would disappear and she would sit
and stare at the ocean.
when he did not want to see her
she felt bright and pretended.
She pretended to be pretty.
She knew that it was not true
but what harm could come of it
when he was not around to watch?
She was a smart girl,
and she knew the difference
between dreams and nightmares.
Between sleep and awake.