I have bad news and good news.
The bad news is that this chapter is kind of lame and it's actually the final chapter
The good news is… I already wrote the first chapter of part two and I like it.
So read and review quickly and then I'll post part two. It will be called Petite Careme
I got in my room and shut the door and took out my cell phone ( the iphone Robert sent me that I had to use after I destroyed the one I had when I got angry at Robert) and dialed Michelle's number.
"Hey, are you on your way back here already?" she asked
"Um… no, I'm still home. I just got here actually."
"Oh… okay, so what's up."
"Umm… remember that uncle I told you about."
"The one you never met?"
"Yeah… well he's here at my house, right now."
"Oh… whoa… what he like… does he look like Andrew?"
I shook my head even though I knew she couldn't see. "No, he looks like… me… actually"
"What do you mean he looks like you?" She said after along pause.
"I mean he looks just like me, but older, you know." I explained while pacing the room.
"Terry... that doesn't make any sense. I thought you said he was Andrew's brother."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "That's what they told me but..."
That was the thing... I didn't know what to place behind that but. I had an idea but that was too insane to believe and I wouldn't even allow myself to go there. I had to be missing something, this must have been a dream of something. "I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone."
"Wait, wait, wait... describe him to me."
I paused and I thought about his face. It was like his face was etched in my memory. I didn't know how to describe it to her. "I'm telling you, it was like looking into a mirror and discovering that you aged like 25 years."
"Whoa?" she said. "Umm... what did he say?"
"Well nothing, I just left them downstairs." I took a deep breath and sat on the bed. "Michelle, I think.."
"What do you think, Terry," she said after waiting for me to finish my thought.
"I think,,, he's my..." I stopped myself from going there. My head felt like it was spinning. I could feel a headache creeping on. I had to calm myself. "I need to see you," I said, clutching my fingers in my palms. "Can I come over."
"Of course." She said over the phone.
"Good, I'll be there in fifteen."
"Okay... I'll be waiting for you."
I told her I loved her before I hung up the phone and I sat on my bed looking at the door. I was actually afraid to leave. I was afraid that If I went back downstairs I would see that man standing there again and I was afraid that if I went down stairs he wouldn't be there. I buried my head in my hand and tried to clear my head. It was pounding so much I couldn't differentiate one thought from the other; everything was just dancing in and out of my memory. My whole life was flashing in and out of my mind, searching it like an index for a clue to explain what was happening.
I needed her.
She was the only one who could make sense of the madness that was my life.
I got up form the bed and took my phone and shoved it my back pocket and opened the door quickly and headed down the stairs. They were exactly where I left them, standing in the living room glaring at each other. "Terry," I heard Andrew call. I didn't want to go in that room. I wasn't ready to face them again but my mind couldn't work out how to be a spoiled brat so I just turned around and walked in the room with them. "Yeah," I said, not looking at the any of them.
"I think we should talk about this, Terry." Andrew said.
I nodded. "Not now... I have to go." I explained.
"Where, you just got back."
I shook my head and passed my hand through my hair. "I'm going to Michelle's. I need to think about all this..."
"Terry, please, just stay a while and let us try to explain," Gail said.
"Please," I said. "Don't... just don't. I just need to... I'll tell you guys what..." In my head that was an actual sentence when it came out it sounded like a bunch of disconnected words. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I looked over to Robert. It was so frickin' scary to look at him. "You... stay here, don't go anywhere... just you know...stay." I turned to Gail and Andrew. "Make sure he doesn't go anywhere." I told them. "I'm going to go.. I'll. get Michelle and then we can talk."
They looked at each other and then to me. They were all about to open their mouth to protest but I held up my hand. "Just... do what I say, okay."
They nodded in agreement and I turned to walk out the door.
"Angela," I called coming out of my room. I spotted her in the living room balled up on the couch. I leaned over the couch and looked down at her, she looked up at me. "Angela... I need a favour," I said.
I bit my lip in preparation for the protest that I knew would eventually come. "Terry..."
I didn't even finish my sentence before she rolled her eyes. "Here we go again..."
"Angela please." I begged. She looked at me and shook her head. She seemed willing to listen. "Terry is having a crisis."
"A crisis?" she asked. "God... he's eighteen years old, how many crises does he need in one week."
"Angela... I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't important."
"Fine, what is?"
"I need to go with him... he needs me."
"What about your school stuff?"
"Can't you get it for me," I begged.
She sat up and looked at me. "Shelly, what's so important that you need to go run off with him when you just got back from spending like a week with him?"
I had already told her as much as I could about Terry. I didn't think it would be fair to her if I didn't at least try to explain myself or the nature of our relationship. "I think he just met his father."
"I don't understand." She said looking at me like I was speaking in codes.
"Remember I told you that he was adopted?"
She nodded and then slowly her jaw dropped. "Oh... I see... umm... wow... how is he taking that."
"He seems calm... a little too calm." I said thinking about how he sounded on the phone. I didn't know what the real situation was but he just didn't seem freaked out enough.
She whistled and turned her head back to the TV.
I guessed that meant that she would help me out. I went back to my room and began to pack some things quickly. I sat on the bed waiting to hear his car. I was getting that sickening feeling when you get so nervous that you can't take it. I felt like my heart was an extension of his. I imagined that as he was driving his heart was beating in unison with mine and all the crazy that were existing in my head was what was going on in his. I felt like his emotions were imprinted on mine.
I just sat there, feeling what I was feeling until I heard his car pull up in front. He didn't blow. I looked out the window and he was walking up the path. I took up my overnight bag and went out to meet him. I heard a knock on the door and by the time I got out Angela was opening the door for him. She turned around and looked at me and just opened the door wider for him. He looked at her suspiciously and walked over to me. "Hey," he said leaning over to kiss me on my cheek. I looked at him and tried to read the expression on his face.
"So..." I said.
He looked at me with an expressionless face and took the bag out my hand.
I got it, he didn't want to talk in front of Angela. I followed him to the door and I leaned over Angela one more time. "Thanks again."
"Okay," she said.
When I walked outside he was sitting on the chair waiting on me. He was looking at nothing in particular but he looked like he was thousands of miles away. "Let's go," I told. He got up slowly and we walked to he car. All the while I was looking at him, trying to find some distinguishable emotion.
As soon as we got in I asked him. "How are you feeling?"
He let out a deep breath and passed his hand through his hair. He laughed nervously. I took his hand and squeezed in between mine. I could almost hear his heartbeat in his fingers. "Tell me," I said.
He took a breath and I could see some colour begin to stain his cheeks. He looked red. "I am so angry Michelle," he said. "I feel like... I don't know, I can't think of anything other than the fact that for my entire life I have been lied to." He passed his hand over his brow and looked at me. "I need you to keep me calm," he pleaded. I leaned over to him and kissed him on his cheek. His hand tightened in mine and I could feel the tension from within being transferred in his grip. I took his hand to my lips and kissed it.
I thought about it and I decided it was best not to leave Terry with his own thoughts because more often than not, his own thoughts were dangerous. "Terry," I said and he squeezed my hand even more indicate that he was listening. "Whatever happens tonight I think it's important to know that your parents love you and what ever they did or did not do, and no matter how misguided was done because they thought it was the best at the time."
He turned the keys in the ignition and I released his hand so he could drive but moved it to his leg. I wised he would say something but deep down I knew things that bothered him the most were the things he didn't want to talk about. However, I hoped what I told him provided a little reason to whatever was going on in his head.
When we arrived to his house he still hadn't said anything, but I tried to offer him quiet support by keeping my hand on leg. He drove through the gate and parked the car. We got out and he went to the back to collect my bags. I waited on him and together, we walked to the door.
The silence in the house was so loud it seemed unnatural. We walked in and he led me to the living room and I stopped when I walked in. Sitting on different sofas were three adults, sulking like they had been punished. Of course I had known two of these faces but strangely I found that I also knew the third. It was just as Terry described. This man had his face, the only difference was that the face was significantly aged.
No one said anything, the situation was obviously awkward. I looked at the man and his eyes caught mine and for a moment I got a glance into the future of what it would be like, looking at a much more mature version of Terry. "Good night," I said awkwardly. My words acted like an alarm bell, suddenly I was bombarded with greetings and the Gail got up to meet me. She walked over to me and I could tell she was asking me silently for help. I remembered my promise to her and I hoped my eyes conveyed this much. She hugged me and pulled me close.
"It's nice to see you again sweetheart."
"Thanks," I said.
"So you're spending the night," she said.
"Terry wants me to," I said. I always felt guilty about the way Terry forced me on them. She nodded and walked back to her place on the couch. Form his spot on a love seat Andrew gave me a nervous wave which I returned. I turned to Terry and he was just standing there holding my bag, staring at the elephant in the room. "Terry," I said.
He snapped out of it and rest my bag behind the couch and took my hand and led me to a free seat. We sat down together and he looked at all three of them. I held on to his hand because I knew he was controlling his anger. I have no idea how he would have acted if I wasn't next to him. "Before anyone starts defending any shit they did, let me just get one thing clear." He turned to Robert. "You're my…" He passed his hand over his eye-bow. "I can't even say it," he mumbled.
"I am your father Terry," Robert said, rising a little from the seat.
"Biological," Andrew added.
Terry squeezed my hand and I heard him take in and let out a deep breath. I let my thumb rub the back of his hand in an attempt to calm him. "So…" he said turning to Andrew. "I'm guessing he's not your brother."
Andrew shook his head. "No…"
Terry nodded, taking it in. "So all of that was just a lie."
Andrew shirted uncomfortably. "Terry we all decided it would be best if you didn't know."
"All of us… I don't remember anyone asking me anything."
"You were four Terry." Andrew said.
He pouted. "And what's wrong with me knowing…" I could feel he was loosing it and I held on tighter to his hand. "You know what… this is shit," he said. He got up and I rose with him. He walked away from them, taking my bag and led me up the stairs. I followed silently, knowing that this was something he needed to do and sort through the way he wanted to. He walked in his room and he locked the door behind him.
He walked to the bed and laid down. He patted next to him and I laid down and looked at him. "What should I do Michelle… tell me what to do."
I passed my hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face. I took a deep breath and thought carefully about what I was going to say. "I can't tell you what to do Terry; I can only tell you what I would do."
"What would you do?" he asked.
"There are some people who have no idea what it's like to have a parent. I would think about that. I won't tell you that I wouldn't be angry because that would be a lie and I know you hate it when people lie to you… so I won't. I will be angry Terry but I'd keep it all in perspective… and the truth is you have three people downstairs who love you enough to fight over you, to deny themselves their natural rights to you and enough to look at you when you were just a baby and surrender any dreams they had so they could make yours come through. You have no enemies there Terry.
I looked at him and I could see some tears welling up in his eyes. "It was easier when I didn't know who abandoned me… but I guess it hurts more because it's my uncle… fuck… I don't even know what to call him. It hurts more because it's Robert. I don't know why I wasn't good enough. I always wondered what it was about me that made me unlovable to them… could they tell when I was baby… did they know what I would be trouble, is that why they passed me on to someone else." He shook his head. "I always pictured two heartless, faceless people but suddenly one of them has a face and voice and it's someone I love and it's harder to hate someone you loved for so many years."
I moved closer to him and took him and wrapped my arms around him. "Terry, Robert never abandoned you… I don't know his story but what you told me it seems like he was there every step of the way. Didn't you tell me that he was the first person you talked whenever you needed help?"
"But why couldn't he keep me."
"I can't answer that question but his presence here tells me that he wanted to. Don't you think he loves you just as much or even more than you love him?"
He shrugged. "Michelle, I don't trust anything I believe anymore… it's apparent that what we believe can be taken form us too."
"That's not true Terry. You believe you love me don't you."
He sighed and wiped his eyes, maybe to hide the fact that he wanted to cry. "It's different… It's a fact that I love you, a fact is like death… but with Robert it's different. I can see myself hating him. It will be hard but it can happen. I believed I loved him but suddenly there is an alternative."
"Hear him out," I hold him.
"I don't want to go back down there for the day."
"You don't have to," I told him, kissing his forehead. "We can just stay up here and you can tell me how I can make you feel better for now."
He nodded and I saw the tear escape his eye finally. "Please, can you kiss me? That's the only thing that can make me forget about this mess."
I didn't hesitate. I kissed him on his lips deeply and he kissed me back softly as if to savour the sensation and drain it for all it was worth.
I woke up to find my room pitch black. My head was pounding even more fiercely than before and this time my throat felt dry, like a cold was coming on. I got out of bed easily, careful not to wake Michelle and walked to the door. I looked down stairs before hand. I still was not ready to deal with anyone. I just wanted a painkiller and some water. The lights were off, which meant everyone had gone to bed. I didn't know what time it was but I guessed it might have been pretty early in the morning. I passed my parents room and the guest room quietly and walked down the stairs and to the kitchen. I turned on the light and squinted to adjust my eyes to the light. I walked to the medicine cabinet and opened it. It was empty, except for a bottle of vitamins.
I didn't even bother to be mystified by it. I knew why it was empty. I closed it and walked over the refrigerator and took out a bottle off water.
"Hey," someone said.
I jumped. I didn't even hear anyone behind me and I knew who it was before I turned around.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"That's okay," I said finally deciding to turn around. I looked at his face that wore no signs of sleep.
He returned my gaze and shifted awkwardly from one foot to another. I wanted to leave. This was an awkward moment I didn't want to experience. I moved to walk away and he stopped me. "Terry," he said. I turned slightly. "I was hoping to have a talk with you."
I experienced something strange. My mind told me to do one thing but my body decided to do something else. I took a seat on one of the stools around the counter. "So talk," I said, thinking about what Michelle told me and trying to forget that I was mad at him.
He took a seat on another one of the stools and tapped his fingers on the counter. He laughed awkwardly. "I pictured this moment a million times and all those times I knew exactly what to say."
I was not going to make it any easier for him. I took a sip of water and leaned back with my arms folded.
He looked at me and brought his brows together. "I know what you're think Terry and I can promise you that it's not the case."
"You know what I'm thinking?" I asked mockingly.
He nodded. "I just need you to understand that if I had known about you at all… things would have been different."
"Different?" I said. "You mean you wouldn't have passed me on to someone who could deal with me."
"No… I didn't know about you. Your mother… Nancy and I…"
"Nancy?" I asked, it was the first time I heard name attached to the woman who abandoned me.
He nodded. He looked at me pleadingly. "Terry, please… I'll tell you everything you need to know… I just want you to understand that a day never went by when I didn't wish you were with me. You think I like knowing that some other man is taking care of my kid… you think I'm proud of that. I was trying to do the right thing and for the longest while keeping you here with Andrew and Gail was the right thing but I promised myself… as long as I think I can do better for you I'd take you back… I listen to you on the phone and I can hear it… you're not happy… maybe this is my time to step up and do what I should have done years ago…"
"I think you should go," I told him quietly.
He shook his head. "And leave you… never," he said.
He twisted on his chair and I could tell he was in a place of peace. He got all the answers he wanted and decided that everything happened for a reason. He didn't hate Robert, he didn't hate his parents. He understood everything and for once he was totally at peace with who he was. I could have been selfish and told him to stay with me but I couldn't deny his this opportunity. "Terry… I think you should you go."
"Why?" he said laughing. "There's always next year."
"You should go now. It's only a week."
"But I don't want to leave you."
I got up and walked over to him. He stopped twisting the chair and kept it still. I took a seat on his lap and he placed his arms around me. "What are you afraid of?"
He emerald eyes looked at me in a contemplative manner. "I'm not afraid of anything."
"Are you afraid that you'll go and you'll like it there and not want to come back?"
He laughed a genuine laugh. "You know that's not possible… I think it's obvious that I'm useless without you."
I ran my fingers through his hair. "No, you're not. You can do without me for a week. You can call me all you want. It will be like the old days when you called me everyday."
"It's funny how you refer to two months ago as the old days," he said staring at nothing in particular. "So what am I going to do when I'm… you know… In the mood for…"
"For..?" I asked him, raising a brow.
"A Kiss," he finished with mock innocence.
I shrugged. "Kiss the rain…" I joked and began to hum the tune of a song by the name.
"I'll tell you what," he said. "Sing it to me and I'll go."
I laughed. "Why do I have to sing just so you could spend a week with you Father?"
He rubbed his hands on my back. "I'll go okay… but I love to hear you sing and I'll appreciate it if you sing it to me."
I groaned. "I'll tell you what… once you're there… you can call me and I'll sing to you every night."
"It's a deal." He said. He moved his other hand to my legs and they began to creep under my skirt. I shoved them away quickly and got up and crossed the room.
"Your parents are downstairs for crying out loud."
He laughed. "Well you're the one in the skirt."
I sighed and laid on his bed. "It's going to be a long two years isn't it."
"I'll survive," he said taking his place next to me. I looked at him and he looked in my eyes again and his hand went to pin my hair behind my ears. "Besides, the alternative is just not acceptable. You know I can't live without you."
I sighed and kissed him on his forehead. I decided that I shouldn't tell him how much he scared me when he said things like that.
Stay tuned for Part two…
So I'd like to thank everyone for the support and the reviews. You guys kept me writing. I know this ending was kind of… Meh… but I think the sequel will be good.
If you have any question please let me know.I know there will be since I didn't fully explain Robert. It will be in Part two but I am willing to answer it before hand.