My Guardian Angel
So much blood…
I tried to close my eyes; I tried to will away the pain that seemed to have enclosed me in a lake of thick, crimson coloured blood. It pooled around me, I could feel it drying on my clothes and skin. My hair was caked in mud, dirt and most of, blood—it felt thick and heavy and I groaned at the thought of washing it all out. My legs throbbed, my arms throbbed, my head throbbed. Everything throbbed with pain. It was like my body had under-gone a transformation, and I'd become a lifeless plant. I tried closing my eyes, but there would be darkness waiting for me there too.
I was scared. So very scared.
My car was starting to fill with the stench of oil, it mixed with the fine smell of pine trees around me and I cringed. There was nobody in these woods, because everyone hated the smell of the trees. It irritated their noses and got under their skin, I was the only one who found it remotely soothing and pleasant. Why did I have to crash? Why couldn't have I just missed the tree?
God hates me, I swear.
I clenched my fists and tried to forget. Forget everything that had happened to me tonight, but it all kept coming back—my parents kicking me out, my abusive boyfriend, my friend snubbing me because I was no longer rolling in cash, and the voices.
They had come in the middle of my English class. All in the same creepy, sinister voice you usually hear in horror movies or imagine while you're reading a scary, horror-filled book.
They'd told me things I never really wanted to know about myself. Like how I never looked after myself, everyone else was more important that me. They told me how weak I was for letting my boyfriend throw me around, and they said they despised the way I seemed to care what everyone else thought of me. They knew nobody loved me, and that I'd probably die alone and soulless.
They knew everyone hated me.
We're still here, you know.
I shuddered; it was the sound of numerous voices echoing in my head. I hated them. I hated the world. I wanted to die, and I didn't care if I was going to die now. Nobody would miss me, nobody would care. I'd rot in this god forsaken forest and when people found my skeleton the only way they'd be able to identify me was how many fillings I'd had. My life sucked, and everyone in my life, sucked.
It's all God's doing. The voices sneered at me, he wants you to die because you're worthless and nobody loves you. Not even Him.
I growled, if there was one person watching me right now, it was God. At that moment, I had to remember all the good times I'd had with my parents, all those times I'd laughed with my boyfriend and gone to parties with my friends. I remembered how I was a perfect A student and my teachers thought I could get into any university if I wanted to. I knew that I wasn't worthless, that I had feelings and emotions just like anyone else. For once, those voices were completely and utterly wrong.
But look where life has left you! They sang gleefully. You're lying in a pool of your own blood, waiting for Death to swoop down and claim you. You're pathetic, even if you are human.
And just like that, I knew they were right. Even if all those things hadn't happened to me, I'd still be waiting for Death to come. I wanted to know who these voices were, who were they to judge me and tell me what I wanted. They seemed to know everything about me, everything I'd ever felt. And I was scared. The pain was growing, and I knew I wouldn't be able to take much more of it.
Soon, my dear, soon your pain will end and you'll be one of us.
No! I didn't want to turn out like them, whoever they were, I didn't want to corrupt others and control their emotions and feelings. It wasn't right; God was the only man who was allowed to do that. He was the only being who could control someone's thoughts. It was wrong. I cringed, trying to move my hand toward the car door. It seemed too far away to reach, so desperately out of my way.
I couldn't reach it.
God is not with you! Forget about your silly, uncaring God. You will be with us soon.
Never. I'd never be an evil demon such as these, even if they were only inside my head—something told me that they were real. So very real. And it scared me. I gasped at the pain seemed to increase ten fold; I clenched my eyes shut and prayed for God to take mercy on my poor, dying soul.
Remember, my darling, you're ours now. And it won't be long until you join us. You will be powerful.
Growling, I let my eyes snap open. I would not turn out like them; I would not die this way. Gritting my teeth, I tried to move my arm, or my leg. But they weren't responding. My body wouldn't move, it was as if I'd lost control of my body and I was just a brain, just a sitting brain. Lifeless and immobile. I didn't want to die a living vegetable. My dignity was still somewhat intact. My body didn't belong to me anymore, but I still had my thoughts and they would not take that away from me.
You will soon be just like us! The voices were getting louder inside my head now. You will not live, you will die and you will become a demon such as us. Power is your destiny, not a weak little human.
I couldn't escape them, squeezing my eyes shut I willed them to leave, to go away and never come back. I didn't deserve any of this. What had I done to die such a horrible death? Was this really my fate? Squeezing my eyes tightly, I wanted to scream at them to get lost. They did not belong anywhere near my head.
You cannot control us; it won't be long before you are us.
My head started to spin as I tried to regain control of my body. It was no use, as if my body had decided to side with the voices. I didn't want to end this way. There was no way I was getting out of this. Stuck, I began my prayer to God. I asked him for forgiveness to whatever I had done displease him. I asked him for life.
You have no choice you selfish girl!
"No!" I screamed, opening my eyes.
And that's when I saw him.
He was highly likely the most handsome, beautiful, striking, stunning, breath-taking man I'd ever seen. He was so familiar, as if I'd known him in a different life and I was just meeting him again. Golden wavy locks ended around his neck, they seemed to sway in the wind as he walked towards me. Even from at this distance, I could tell he had the lightest blue eyes I'd ever seen. His skin was as white as chalk; it was flawless and looked oh-so smooth. His pale pink lips were tipped into a slight smile, and he was looking straight at me. Pure white wings flapped behind him, the feathers looked so real and soft – just begging to be touched.
I choked. "Who are you?"
He merely smiled.
No! I heard the voices scream. You are our's, he cannot take you!
"I am your guardian angel." He finally said, his silky smooth voice seemed to take away all the pain.
I gaped, why hadn't he come sooner? Why hadn't he saved me from the voices and the pain more quickly? I was drowning in my own blood!
"I am sorry, I would have come sooner, but I did not hear you until you called me." he spoke in such a confident, calming voice I already felt my angry disperse.
He will not win! I cringed at the fury evident in their voices. This is not fair, you are meant to be one of us.
"You can forget all the pain that you've been feeling," immediately, I felt everything float away. He bent down and picked me up, bridal style. "You will be relieved of your troubles for your faith in God."
"What about the voices?" I asked, worried that they would be there for the rest of my life.
"You can forget them too, and they will leave." He said, showing off his pearly white teeth. "You can forget everything. You are safe now."
And then he pressed a light kiss on my forehead, his lips were cool and smooth. I felt tingles flow down my body until I saw all my cuts and wounds had been healed. By his kiss. Suddenly, he pressed his warm fingers to my eyelids. I closed my eyes and felt the world around me lift away.
By then I knew I was going to heaven. But I knew everything would be okay.
Because I had my guardian angel.